


I Fell in Love with an Assassin/Ex-Assassin

by thisislegit



Series: Ex-Assassin Verse [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Everybody Lives, F/M, Kili and Fili are kids, M/M, Mentions of dead parents, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-02-22
Packaged: 2018-01-10 09:31:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 34,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1158034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisislegit/pseuds/thisislegit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin Durin is a long retired assassin. Bilbo Baggins is a 2nd year college student with a double major in Nursing and Biology and a lot to look forward to. After Thorin literally slams a door in Bilbo's face they fall in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prelude

**Author's Note:**

> I should be finishing a Cat's Tale but the Bagginshield fandom has pulled me in and now I have to write this instead. Sorry my Stony watchers it'll be a little while before I get that done, but I hope everyone enjoys this.

 

  ~6 Years Ago~

“So how much is he paying for the job?”

“10 mill.”

There was a quick intake of breath before the gruff voice asked, “How serious is this job?”

“Apparently very serious. The target is Smaug. Ceo of Dale Inc. Here’s his picture and the other information Frerin has gathered."

“You’re sure our client has respected our guidelines…” Thorin trailed off.

“Dis has double checked. He’s true to his word. Can you handle the job?”

“Child’s play. When does he want it done by?”

“Next Friday.”

Thorin nodded and left the room seeing Dwalin leaning against the wall in the tiny hallway. Well, technically compared to them everything looked smaller. He handed him the file letting him look through it.

“You know this is my last job right?”

“Yes Dwalin, I know.”

“You coming to the wedding?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world my friend.”

“Good. Don’t want Ori caught up in all this.” He waved his hand in a small arch and Thorin patted his shoulder with a small smile. He understood.

During the week Dwaling trailed after Smaug, checking off habits and schedules when they were found to be accurate according to Frerin’s research. There was a slight mishap on Wednesday where Smaug stayed at work several hours later than he was used to, but by Thursday it was back to the same routine. Thorin and Dwalin discussed the arrangements and soon it was Friday afternoon. Dwalin had arranged a meeting with a decoy and Thorin sat on the rooftop two buildings away putting his sniper rifle in place. He adjusted his ear piece as Dwalin started talking.

“There’s a microphone on the decoy. We should be able to hear everything they’re talking about.”

“When’s my cue?”

“As soon as he finishes saying ‘It’s getting late’ take the shot.”

Thorin grunted in affirmation as he sat on the roof and waited. When the decoy arrived in Smaug’s office Thorin sat straighter at his perch adjusting the scope. Smaug was sitting at his desk and the decoy took the seat in front of him.

“I assume things are going well?”

“As well as they can be, but we’re not here for small talk. What proposition did you have for me Mr. Fincer?”

“Well, my company hasn’t been getting as much business as it used to. The location is fine, just off of Broadway.”

“Broadway? A good location indeed.” Smaug had a glint in his eye as he continued listening to the other man.

Thorin had never been more bored in his life. Well that was lie. There were many other times where he’d been just as bored as this, but a job was a job. An hour had passed before the decoy looked down at his watch.

“Oh my.”

Thorin placed his hand on the trigger.

“What is it?” Smaug asked his brows furrowing.

“Well it’s getti-“

The door burst open and a young man with brown curls ran in with two policemen trying to get a hold of him. He managed to get behind the desk and Smaug held a hand up to them both.

“We’re sorry Mr. Smaug we tried to stop him from coming in.”

“No need to worry.”

Smaug turned to the boy. He looked to be about thirteen and there was a raging fire in his eyes.

“You told me you’d come and get me before the ceremony,” he said breathless.

“I’m sorry lad. It seems to have slipped my mind.”

Tears came to the child’s eyes as he barely managed to say, “You you said so. You said.” He started sobbing before Smaug took him into his arms, patting his back. Smaug half turned to the decoy and gave him a weak smile.

“I’m sorry about this Mr.Fincer. My nephew lost his parents recently and I’ve been taking care of him as of late. I seem to have forgotten about the ceremony. We can discuss this later yes? My secretary will give you my information at the door.”

The decoy nodded and left being led out by a guard.

“Thorin, what do we do?”

“…nothing,” he said having packed up his rifle as the conversation went on.

“The client-“

“-will be spoken to immediately. I’m meeting him down at the coffee shop in the next hour.”

“Thorin.”

“Go home Dwalin. This was your last job remember? Go back to your fiancé. I’ll talk to you soon.”

The decoy was paid off anyway, and Thorin later found himself in the coffee shop sipping a mug of dark coffee. A man in his thirties nonchalantly took the seat in front of him after ordering his own drink.

“So…is it done?”

Thorin looked up at the man and smiled. He set his coffee down and placed his crossed arms atop the table as he said, “Mr. Bard. What is the Durin’s main guideline about such delicate jobs?”

“…Secrecy?” The man barely held back a cry as Thorin stomped on his foot from under the table.

“The guideline is. No. Parents.”

“Smaug is no parent.”

“Who was the child that came running into his office bawling his eyes out before I took a shot?”

“That’s his nephew.”

“His adopted nephew. When were you going to tell us this might I ask?”

“He was adopted a couple weeks ago-“

“After his parents died. Yes, I heard. No matter the time period of this, Smaug is now off limits. We do not kill parents or legal guardians.”

“I’ve already paid half.”

“We'll reimburse you. We have no need for your money Mr. Bard just like I have no need for you wasting my time and skills. Find someone else to take him out, but it will not be us.” Thorin slapped a twenty onto the table and left.

He went to several different places that day. The bookstore, a restaurant that opened up recently, and finally his favourite bar before heading back home.

“Father wants to see you,” Dis said as he passed by the kitchen.

“Already heading there.”

“He’s angry.”

“So am I.”

Dis gave him a look which Thorin replied with a shrug before he went over into Thrain’s office.

“You did not get the job done.”

“Smaug is a legal guardian. You know how I work father.”

“We were getting paid 10 million dollars so that Bard could retake his company and you-“

“Followed the guidelines. Something I told you I wouldn’t budge on and you accepted. Do you renounce that father?”

“You’re just as hard headed and childish as ever.”

“We have more than enough money now. We didn’t need-“

“Who are you to tell me what we need!” Thrain interrupted standing from his seat.

“You’re eldest son! Believe it or not I’ve got a good idea what I’m doing!”

“Do you! Thorin you are going to have to realize that this ridiculous rule is going to harm our business!”

“DO NOT FORGET WHO THIS RULE WAS FOR FATHER!”

Thrain grew quiet.

“Was it not your wife, father.” He spat the word like it was filth.

“Leave me.”

Thorin marched out slamming the door behind him. He caught the sight of Frerin vanishing around the corner before going to his own room.

“Dinner’s almost ready,” Dis called from the kitchen.

Thorin sighed leaning back in his chair and rubbing his temples.

_It wasn’t raining that day, but he wished it was. How could it be so sunny on a day like this? Frerin stood next to him, hair combed back neatly in his suit. His tie was undone because he said it hurt his throat. Frerin was only 5 at the time. Dis being 1 was held in Thrain’s arms. The coffin was lowered into the ground and Frerin turned to his brother._

_“Why are they putting mommy in the ground?”_

_Thorin didn’t reply only holding his hand a little tighter._

_When they started to pour dirt in the hole Frerin grew panicked._

_“Why are they putting dirt on her? Thorin! Thorin make them stop! Make them stop putting dirt on her!”_

_Thorin had to hold onto him as Frerin tried to run over to the strange men. He began bawling trying to get Thorin to let go._

_“Make them stop! Make them stop putting dirt on mommeee!”_

“Hello?”

Thorin’s eyes snapped open as he saw Dis at the doorway.

“Are you all right?”

“No.”

She sighed walking over, setting a plate of food on his desk. They stared at each other for a little while. Thorin broke eye contact first. She always looked the most like his mother.

“I think we should stop.”

Thorin groaned and rubbed his head knowing where this conversation was heading.

“I’m serious Thorin. I think we can stop. You know we have more than enough money and then some. We can pay off people to leave us alone. Get someone else to miff our information and fade into history. Like a myth.”

“What about the enemies who can’t be paid off?”

“They've always been too scared to come near us anyway. Plus they can’t really hold a grudge for very long if we drop out of the picture can they?”

“You’re too optimistic.”

“You’re too cynical.”

“Dis. Listen. When you get to be my age-“

“You’re 22 Thorin! You had your first hit when you were 18 instead of going to college and graduating like you should be right now!”

She wasn’t wrong…

“I think we’re all pretty tired Thorin. I may not have known her for very long, but I know that mom wouldn’t want this life for us. Frerin says he’d rather be on the swim team than trailing after old men all day.”

Thorin did remember him mentioning something about that. However it was more along the lines of being _on the swim team_ than any actual swimming. He looked at the concern in her eyes. She was 14 now. He didn’t think he could stand the thought of her taking men out from rooftops after graduation.

“I’ll talk to him.”

Dis placed a hand on his shoulder.

“We’ll all talk to him. Tomorrow. Eat your food.”

She left him to his own thoughts and Thorin found himself leaning back in the chair again. Hands at his temples. Dis meant well, she really did, but he doubted they would be able to get through to Thrain. Even if they managed to stop, he’d probably hire other men to take their place. Strangers being in the house never sat well with Thorin. His door creaked open and blue eyes peaked from the corner.

“Soo…how’s the-“

A book was thrown nearly missing him and Frerin slipped back out with a quick, “Never mind then.”


	2. His Nose Isn't Broken!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just posted this and I already have so many hits! Wow, have another chapter. I'll likely post more tonight because I'm terrible with updates.  
> Un beta'd

 

Present Day

Bilbo walked along the sidewalk being sure not to run into anyone as he talked on the phone.

“Yes Uncle.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to send anything?”

“No thank you Uncle. I told you I’m fine.”

“Nonsense…oh did I tell you I’m retiring?”

“Yes you did. You deserve it honestly. You’re much too old to be working anymore,” Bilbo replied smiling.

“I’m not that old.”

“Didn’t the house keeper tell me that yesterday you tried sticking your flash drive into the Blue Ray player?”

“If it’s a marvel of technology why doesn’t it take all kinds of file formations,” he grumbled over the line.

“Format Uncle. It’s just called format, and besides that, you know that you still have those old floppy disks laying around the house. Why haven’t you transferred the information on them yet?”

“Hush now Bilbo. Those are important.”

Bilbo smiled at his Uncle’s tone listening to him ramble on for a little while.

“You’re sure you don’t need anything? I could drop a couple hundred into your account.”

“Don’t you dare. I can handle myself just fine.”

“Hmph. Here I am with all this excess and you wont’ take some off my back. What kind of nephew are you.”

“One who can earn his money on his own. Oh! Remember to raise the benefits for the telemarketing and the filing departments. I was talking to Hamfast and he was saying that things were getting a bit tight.”

“I’ll be sure to Bilbo. Anything else?”

“None that I can think of unless you want to raise the wages by another 40 cents. You know what I say, loyal workers are always well paid.”

“I’ll add that to my list and have everything signed.”

“Good bye Uncle.”

“Have a good day Bilbo.”

Bilbo put his phone away and looked up in time to get slammed by a glass door as someone exited the building. He stepped back dropping his books in the process of holding onto his nose. He heard someone curse and barely opening his eyes to watched the man pick them up. The odd blur stood placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you all right?”

Bilbo stood hunched over and pulled his hands away from his face. There was blood on his palms and he heard the stranger say another curse before leading him aside. Soon he was sitting on a bench inside a bakery as the stranger tended to him. He wiped the blood from his face making him wince and handed him some tissues to plug his nostrils.

“Just lean your head back a little. Not too much,” the man said with a hand cradling the back of Bilbo’s neck.

Bilbo finally opened his eyes fully to get a good look at the stranger. He blinked a few times and found him to be extremely handsome. He had long dark hair with a few strands of gray pulled back into a low ponytail. His beard was closely shaved and neat, and his eyes were a bright crystal blue.

They sat there for a few moments in silence before the man lightly nudged the back of his neck having him turn to face him. He looked concerned as one of his hands caressed Bilbo’s cheek. Bilbo’s face grew dark red at the action. He then pressed his fingers along his jawline and down to his neck before dropping his hands altogether. He let out a sigh and looked at him with furrowed eyebrows.

“You should be fine, but your cheek is going to be bruised. Luckily your nose isn’t broken. I’m sorry for the mishap.”

Bilbo didn’t say anything still a little dazed before he snapped back to his senses.

“Oh! Oh it’s nothing. My fault. Should’ve watched where I was going and all.”

“Nonsense. You were still injured by my actions. Is there anything I could do to make it up to you?”

The man looked very determined, and Bilbo found he liked that look. He wasn’t sure what to ask for though. He didn’t need any money, and he wasn’t sure what this man could even do.

“What’s your name?”

The man looked taken back before answering, “Thorin.”

“Well Thorin, I wouldn’t mind dinner.”

There was a heavy pause as Bilbo screamed internally at his forwardness. He blamed the Took side of his family. They were always rushing headfirst into things.

“Ah-hmm. Dinner?”

“Yes.”

“All right.”

“Really?” Bilbo piped up a bit a smile twitching at the corners of his lips.

“I did say anything.”

“Well..great! Is Friday good for you?”

“Only if 7pm is good for you.”

“It’s perfect.”

Thorin chuckled at the answer. This was a strange man indeed. Getting a door slammed in his face and then asking for dinner. However there was this spark in his eyes he couldn’t help but like.

“You have my name, but I do not have yours.”

“Right! It’s Bilbo.”

Bilbo held his hand out and Thorin took it lifting it to his lips to place a kiss on his knuckles.

“It’s very nice to meet you Bilbo,” he said placing his hand back onto his lap.

Bilbo giggled and snorted before covering his mouth as his face turned a very dark red. Thorin couldn’t help it this time as he laughed at the display. He was adorable. When his laughter died down they sat in a comfortable silence for a little while. Bilbo’s phone vibrated in his pocket and his eyes grew wide as he stood quickly.

“Shit! I’m late for class.” He gathered his books from where Thorin set them and stopped before leaving the bakery.

“My number is 577-3821. Call me Friday!” he said before dashing out.

Thorin waved watching the man run down the sidewalk through the glass window of the shop. He then pulled out his phone putting in the number.

“577-3821…Bilbo.”

Before Bilbo walked into his class he stopped in the bathroom to take out the tissue paper in his nose. After washing his hands, he walked quickly down the hall and walked into his classroom. All eyes turned to him except for the professor as he took his seat nearer to the back.

At the end of the class his teacher called him aside.

“I’m sorry I was so late Professor.”

“Don’t worry about that. What happened? You look like you got into fight.”

“Oh! Oh it’s nothing, I just…got hit by a door on my way here.”

Dori harrumphed and crossed his arms.

“Honestly. People around here need to watch what they’re doing. Did you know that there are more people in the hospital due to accidents than actual illnesses?”

“Yes professor.”

“It’s ridiculous! Maybe if people weren’t so careless they wouldn’t be putting their friends and family into the hospital so often.”

“Professor Dori?”

“Hm?”

“I really don’t mean to be rude, but I have a feeling you needed to talk to me about something else.”

“Oh! Yes, well I have a favor to ask.”

“What do you need sir?”

“I need another student to help monitor the labs for my some of my BIO 100 classes. Are you free on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings?”

“Er well what times?”

“7-9 am on Tuesdays and 10-12 on Wednesday mornings.”

“I think I can manage it yes.”

“Thank you Bilbo. You see Mr. Turnhead had dropped out recently and we needed someone to take his place. You have more than enough experience in the labs for the job.”

“I’ll do my best.”

There was another silence before Bilbo was dismissed a little awkwardly. His phone vibrated in his pocket when the door closed behind him. Pulling it out he saw a text from an unknown number. The only thing it read was “Thorin.” He smiled adding the number to his phone book even putting a little heart after the name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every chapter will have at least 1k words. I'd feel like I'm insulting this fandom if I did any less for such a story. Professor Dori is great. I don't know what would happen if you called the number Bilbo has...wouldn't recommend because I came up with it on the spot.


	3. Moving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! I'm on a roll today. I really felt like writing Dwalin/Ori for this chapter so enjoy.

“Move it a little to the left.”

Dwalin grunted pulling the couch towards him.

“Hmmm…No, try moving it back.”

Dwalin sighed obnoxiously before moving the couch back.

“Wait! Push it back a little more.”

“Ori.”

“Please,” he said batting his eyelashes.

Dwalin caved and did as he was told.

Ori walked around the couch tutting to himself before a satisfied smile graced his lips.

“It’s perfect.”

“Thank god,” Dwalin muttered.

“Now we have to get the things into the kitchen.”

Dwalin groaned and flopped onto the couch face first. Ori rolled his eyes before he went outside to get some more boxes from the van. He caught Nori going through a box and cleared his throat. The other man jumped and smiled at his brother.

“I believe you’re supposed to be helping us move the boxes in before unpacking them.”

“Well I was just making sure everything was in order first.”

Ori placed his hands on his hips and watched Nori scramble to close the box and run it inside. Shaking his head he went to the van grabbing a few of the smaller items. He’d have to go grocery shopping tomorrow, so he started compiling a small list in his head when another car pulled up.

“Balin! You’re here early,” Ori said watching the older man step out of his car.

“Well work isn’t as busy as it usually is this week. Think I can handle coming a little early. Where’s Dwalin?”

“Whining on the couch. Grab a box and we’ll have a cuppa. I think Nori took in the dishes earlier. If not I’m sure we can find them.”

Balin nodded locking his car and grabbing a box from the van. They headed inside to hear loud arguing.

“Now don’t talk to me like that I know you took it!” Dwalin's voice rang out.

“I did no such thing!”

“Stop lying! You coulda done this any other day, but when we first move in!?”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Ori said setting the box down on the coffee table. Balin followed suit and they both entered the kitchen. Nori was on the other side of the table while Dwalin was trying to get close enough to do who knows what.

“Stop it you two!”

They both turned to Ori and pointed at each other saying, “He started it!”

Ori walked over to Nori holding his hand out.

“I didn’t take anything!”

Ori just looked at him and Nori grumbled pulling a watch from his pocket and placing it into his palm.

“I knew it!”

“Honestly Nori. One day I won’t be there to keep you from getting hurt.”

Ori walked over to Dwalin dropping the watch into his hand and placing a kiss on his cheek saying, “Say hello to your brother. Nori help me grab some more boxes.”

Ori left the kitchen with Nori following close behind so he wouldn’t get grabbed.

Balin was laughing under his breath.

“How’s the moving going?”

“It’s going. I didn’t know we had so much stuff. Had to sleep on the air mattress last night because we were too tired to set up anything else.”

“Anyone else coming to help finish things up or is it just us?”

“Frerin said he’s getting Thorin over here, but other than that I think just us.”

Balin nodded and they made their way outside. Ori was scolding Nori again piling box after box into his arms until he could barely see. He then ushered him toward the patio stairs and the brothers could barely keep from laughing at his struggle.

“Well don’t just stand there!”

Balin and Dwalin quickly stood to attention before going to help the young man.

Thorin and Frerin managed not to show up until all the moving had been done. Now all that was left was unpacking. The only reason they weren’t yelled at was because they’d brought a lot of food with them upon their arrival.

“You’re lucky Dwalin likes Thai food so much,” Ori said with a small smile.

“Honestly we would’ve been here sooner had it not been for someone’s directions.”

They all turned to look at Frerin who raised his hands looking innocent.

“I followed the directions perfectly!”

“Yes, and they would’ve been more perfect had you known your rights from your lefts. We were driving in circles for a good hour before I took the phone to check. Remind me to get a talking GPS so I don’t have to listen to you.”

“I’m hurt that you don’t enjoy my melodious voice.”

Thorin couldn’t have rolled his eyes any harder if he tried.

“Dori couldn’t make it?” Frerin asked changing the subject.

“Not tonight. He said he’d be here tomorrow to check out the house and help unpack. He’s so busy grading all those papers. I thought being a college professor would give him more free time, but it looks like it’s about the same workload with more than twice the pay. Not sure if it was worth it or not,” Ori said sighing.

“That’s what he gets for being a Biology teacher. You have classes and those lab experiments to grade. Double the workload for one subject. It’s ridiculous,” Nori chimed in.

“I think it’s interesting.”

“You’re a kindergarten teacher Ori. You think everything is interesting,” Nori replied.

“How’ve you been Balin, haven’t seen you in a while,” Thorin said.

“Ah you know. Same old same old. How’s Dis and her munchkins?”

“Fili knocked over the book case last week. She has no idea how he managed it, and Kili learned why you shouldn’t eat a whole container of spaghetti by yourself. I don’t know how they live with them.”

“Oh my,” said Ori.

“Hope she’s not lookin fer a baby sitter anytime soon,” mumbled Dwalin.

“She is! I told her not to bother. The poor sucker wouldn’t last a week,” Frerin said taking the last of the curry rice.

“For once I agree with him. Until Fili and Kili calm down I don’t think they’ll find anyone who will stay long enough,” Thorin said setting his plate aside.

“Why don’t one of you volunteer? You’re her brothers and it’s not like you do anything,” Nori said.

“Actually I do have job. It’s Frerin over here being the free loader.”

“All of us are living off interest Thorin. You chose to have a job while I am enjoying my youth while I have it.”

Balin snorted, “A good excuse that is.”

“At the end of the day you couldn’t pay me enough to watch those two on a regular basis,” Dwalin said.

All the men nodded in agreement. Well except for Ori who just crossed his arms and pouted. He had to deal with all sorts of children daily, of course they wouldn’t understand.

 

* * *

 

 

“Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins?”

Bilbo turned around and looked at a young woman’s familiar face. Didn’t he have a class with her?

“Oh hello. Do we have Philosophy together?”

“Yes. Oh sorry. My name is Dis. Dis Durin. I know we don’t talk much during class ,but I’ve heard so many good things about you from Professor Dori.”

“He rambles off all sorts of things,” he said waving his hand.

“He does, but I didn’t just come over to say hello I’m afraid.”

“Well, depending on what you need I should be able to help.”

She smiled and continued, “I’m in need of a baby sitter. I have two adorable well behaved little boys at home who need someone to watch them while I’m in some of my late night classes.”

“When are the classes?”

“Just Mondays at 7 and Thursdays at 6. Both of them end at 9 so it’s not more than a few hours. I can easily pay you $20 per.”

Bilbo’s eyes widened. That was a lot per hour, and he supposed he could do with a little more spending money. He didn’t like his Uncle always trying to pamper him. She pulled out her wallet showing him a picture of the boys. One was blonde and the other brunette. They both had big smiles and the smaller one was missing a couple teeth.

“They’re adorable,” he said smiling.

“Fili is 4 and Kili is 2 and a 1/2. They talk quite a bit for their age, but they’re very sweet. Do you think you could do it?”

Another $100 a week would be good money, and it was only 5 hours overall... He had already made up his mind as he shook her hand.

“Of course I can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no. What has Bilbo gotten himself into.


	4. First Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got so excited by all the comments I put this together before heading to bed. Also I noticed a bit of confusion with the ages. The Prelude takes place entirely 6 years ago. So Thorin was 22 in the first chapter but he's 28 when he hits Bilbo with the door.  
> Frerin 24 now  
> Dis 20 now so she had Fili when she was 16 and Kili when she was almost 18.  
> I'll be posting a masterlist of ages in a few chapters!

Bilbo and Dis had exchanged information that day, but his job didn’t start until the following week. Friday had approached and with it several texts from Thorin. The conversation going much like this:

**Hello.**

Hi there

**Are we still on for tonight?**

Id think so, unless u forgot & made new plans

**Of course not. I guess I’m picking you up?**

Yes, my address is 476 Danden Lane what time will u be here?

**6:40 or 6:45. The place I picked isn’t too far away.**

Where are we going? :)

**That’s a surprise.**

Spoilsport =P

**I’ll see you tonight Bilbo.**

Bye for now

Thorin smiled at the messages and set his phone down on the counter. Getting his hair in order was another story entirely. For some reason all of it just wouldn’t lay flat. He’d cut it if he didn’t loathe how he looked with such short hair. Finally getting some semblance of cooperation with it he got dressed quickly and picked up his phone again. He got a message from the restaurant confirming his reservation. Thank god.

Back at Bilbo’s townhouse the man had just about pulled everything from his closet. Where in the world was his favourite button down? He couldn’t settle for the violet one. It was too…out there. No, the only thing that would work was the soft toned cream shirt so he could wear it with his brown vest. The vest hung from a hanger on the door after being steamed free of its wrinkles.

He looked at the clock seeing it was 6:30 and panicked. He hadn’t even brushed his teeth yet! Running into the bathroom he took a five minute shower, brushed his teeth, blow dried his hair to get it as dry as he could and when he walked back into his room he saw the sleeve of his favourite shirt hanging from the bottom of the pile he’d made earlier.

“Dammit!”

He pulled it out just as the doorbell rang downstairs. He cursed again pulling the shirt on and grabbing his vest from the hanger. The doorbell rang another time just as Bilbo pulled his dress shoes from under the bed. His phone vibrated on his dresser drawer when he was grabbing his socks. Must be Thorin texting him. He grabbed it putting it into his pocket and got halfway down the stairs before he tripped and fell the rest of the way.

Thorin stood outside just putting his phone in his pocket when he heard a loud thunking. He looked confused at the door and then leaned over the railing of the porch to make sure he had the right address.

“476. Maybe he changed his mi-”

The door swung open and Bilbo stood there trying to catch his breath. His hair was sticking out everywhere, his vest was half buttoned and he had one shoe on his foot.

“Um. Did I come too early?”

Bilbo took a good look at Thorin before looking at himself again and shutting the door in his face.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

It was a couple minutes before Bilbo opened the door again. His hair was perfectly messy, his clothes impeccably done up, and his shoes shined brightly.

“Hello Thorin,” he said with a small smile.

Thorin grinned and replied, “Hello Bilbo. Ready to go?”

“Yes.”

After locking the door Bilbo was ushered into Thorin’s fairly nice car. The ride was silent, and Bilbo wondered if it was such a good idea to go on a date with this handsome stranger. Probably best to get to know him a bit better.

“So what college do you go to?”

“I don’t go to college anymore. After I got my associate’s I went straight to work.”

“What do you do?” Bilbo asked.

“Accounting at an insurance firm.”

“You? Accounting?” Bilbo said placing a hand over his mouth to cover up a laugh.

“Is something wrong with that?”

“No, it’s just you don’t really look like the accounting type.”

“What are accountants supposed to look like?” Thorin asked raising an eyebrow.

“Well…boring.”

“I’ve met some interesting accountants.”

“Really?”

“No.”

They pulled up to the restaurant and parked behind the building. Bilbo stared in awe at how nice everything looked.

“I don’t usually go to places like this,” he said.

Thorin looked at him and noticed just how small he was. Locking the doors he walked beside him and held out his hand. Bilbo took it smiling shyly.

“First time for everything.”

After they were seated they ordered their drinks and drifted back into light conversation.

“How about you? What do you do?” Thorin asked fiddling with the clothe napkin.

“Well right now I’m double majoring in Nursing and Biology with a minor in Latin.”

“That’s very…wow. How do you have free time?”

“Eh. I manage. Things don’t start to pile up until the third year you’re in college.”

“Third year?...Bilbo how old are you?”

“20. Why?”

Thorin choked and Bilbo looked shocked before asking, “Thorin. How old are you?”

“28.”

“28! Wow, you’re younger than I thought.”

“How old did you think I was?” he asked looking insulted.

“34.”

“34?”

“It’s the gray hairs really.”

“You would go on a date with someone 14 years older than you.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” he said shrugging.

Thorin was about to reply when the waiter came back with their drinks. They ordered their food and when the waiter left Thorin was going to continue where he left before Bilbo started talking first.

“You know I didn’t think they’d allow gardens in the yards of the townhouses I live in, but surprisingly they do. I’ve been planting all sorts of vegetables there. Much cheaper than getting them from the store.”

Thorin knew that was the end of that topic, but it didn’t mean he wouldn’t bring it up again some other time. 34? Honestly.

When they finished their meal Bilbo insisted they get dessert elsewhere, so they found this nice Build Your Own Fro-Yo place a few blocks away. Bilbo then proceeded to smother his birthday cake yogurt with cheesecake chunks and caramel sauce. Thorin just left his chocolate as is.

“That’s the boring accounting part,” Bilbo said as his bowl was weighed.

“I think of it as not wanting diabetes.”

Bilbo gasped and placed a hand over his heart.

“You hurt me Thorin.”

“34.”

“…okay I’ll let it slide.”

They spoke more about Bilbo’s classes and Thorin talked a little about his family. Overall it had been a very nice night. Bilbo was easy going and nice to talk to. Thorin, although very closed off on some topics, managed to keep the overall conversation flowing well. By the time Bilbo got home it was almost 2 am. Bilbo managed to spot a corner bookstore with late hours and they got lost in the aisles skimming over their favourite genres as they talked about different authors.

“So this is me,” he said tilting his head to the door. A small plastic bag holding a few books dangled from his hands as he rocked on the heels of his feet.

“Would you hm like to do this again,” he asked.

“Same time?”

“If it’s convenient.”

“I’d love to.”

There was a jingling of keys as Bilbo unlocked his door. Before he stepped inside Thorin took a small step forward. Bilbo followed suit until they were almost chest to chest. Thorin leaned down a little as Bilbo closed his eyes and smiled.

“Too bad I don’t kiss on the first date,” he whispered before stepping back into his townhouse.

“Good night Thorin.”

The door clicked shut and Thorin heard the lock being put into place as he stood there dumbfounded. He then looked to the window to see Bilbo waving at him just as the curtains were closed again. He chuckled while walking back to his car.

This relationship was definitely going to be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I'll be updating this fic with this much frequency, but who knows. This chapter reads really fast due to all the dialogue. I'll try to keep the flow of things slower from now on.


	5. Bofur the Book Keeper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a bit more difficult to write, but I really do enjoy writing the Bofur and Bilbo friendship dynamic. hope you like it!

That Sunday morning Bilbo had gone to a different corner bookstore. A famliar place run by someone with a familiar face. Hefting a large cardboard box to the door he knocked on it twice with his foot before the shop keep came and helped him in.

“What did you bring in for me this time Bilbo?”

Bilbo set the box on the counter and Bofur opened it starting to rifle through its contents.

“Just some things that my uncle didn’t want. How’ve you been Bofur?”

“Fine fine. Work picks up and drops oddly during this season. I’m thinkin I should have a sale soon. Things are pilin up in the back and I’d like ta get some of the shelves clear.”

“When are you planning on having it?”

“In a couple weeks. 30-40% off music and vintage comics. That usually reels them in quick. The ones with the funny hats and paint color strips. Who knew I’d make so much off of ‘em.”

“Hipsters Bofur, and you are the last person who should be making fun of other people’s headware,” Bilbo laughed.

Bofur adjusted his hat and winked.

“My hat is a wonder in itself Mr. Baggins. What about you? How’ve you been?” Bofur began unpacking the box taking a quick look at some of the covers before flipping through a few pages.

“Well my week has been very busy. Professor Dori wants me to help monitor a few labs for him, and I got a great baby-sitting offer from one of my classmates.”

“Really?”

“Yes, $20 per hour. I mean it’s only 5 hours of the week but another hundred is always nice. I didn’t even know Dis had children.”

Bofur nearly dropped the book he had and looked at Bilbo with wide eyes.

“…what?”

“Dis? You don’t mean Dis Durin do you?”

“Yes. Why?”

Bofur sighed setting the book down and asked, “What did she say.”

“Do you know her?”

“Yes, she’s a friend of a friend. Now what did she say?”

“Oh! Well she said she has two boys Fili and Kili. One is 4 the other 2 and a ½ and that they’re both talkative, but very well behaved.”

“Ha! Good lot that one is.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked watching Bofur take a few stacks to the backroom.

“It’s nothin Bilbo!” he called.

“Come now Bofur. They’re not even 5 yet there’s no way they can be that bad.”

Bofur came back and patted Bilbo’s shoulder with a weak smile.

“Course not.”

“…I’m in trouble aren’t I?”

“You may want ta renegotiate your ‘ourly rate.”

Bilbo groaned and Bofur went back to looking through the box.

“How much did you want for all this?”

“Well how much do you think it’s worth?”

“Some of the things in here are in great condition, others a little weaker but they’re very old. Old books are always good…is that the Lord of The Rings trilogy?”

“Oh! That’s mine. Not supposed to be in there,” Bilbo said grabbing the copies.

“I’ve got more than enough copies of those lyin around here. Can never ‘ave enough Lovecraft though,” he said pulling out a hardcover with a weak spine.

“I never liked Lovecraft. His stories always left me feeling uneasy. It’s like they never had an ending,” Bilbo said thumbing one of the covers.

“That’s what makes him so popular I suppose. When you hear someone’s story it doesn’t mean their life ended. Just a snippet really. All adventures have consequences and other events followin them. Nothing ever really ends does it Mr. Baggins?” Bofur rambled as he typed into the register.

“I can give you 220 for the box.”

“Deal.”

Bilbo got his cash and proceeded to help Bofur put the rest of the books away.

“So when do you start the babysitting?”

“Monday from 7 to 9 and then again on Thursday from 6 to 9.”

“I’d say that’s not too bad, but I’d be lying.”

“All right enough making fun. What about you Bofur? Do I get to hear more about this mystery man you’re so fond of?”

Bofur sputtered and started staring very seriously at the books in front of him.

“Don’t be so tight lipped. Could I at least get a name or something? Anything.”

Bofur sighed and turned around to lean on the bookcase.

“His name is Nori.”

“Nori? That’s a nice name.”

“He’s very nice. Really wonderful, it’s just,” he made some odd gesture with his hands before sighing again and letting them drop to his sides.

“Complicated?”

“Exactly.”

“Have you asked him on a date yet?”

“No.”

“Have you talked to him on the phone?”

“…no.”

“Have you met more than once?”

“Yes. Three times.”

“Bofur, do you even have his number?”

“Of course I do. Just haven’t gotten around to callin him yet.”

“How long has it been?”

Bofur mumbled something under his breath.

“What?”

“A few weeks.”

“Bofur! You need to call him. If you don’t how will he even know you’re interested? I’ll tell you how, he won’t.”

“That’s easy for you to say. How many men have you been on dates with recently?”

Bilbo blushed as he answered, “I’ll have you know that I’m not so easy to get a date with anymore. In fact before Friday the last date I had was 3 months ago.”

“Who’s got your eye this time? I hope he’s not as old as the last one. You have a thing for silver foxes.”

“I do not.”

“Elrond.”

“That was one time. He had a daughter, and we parted as likely friends.”

“Hmm what about your first English professor, not to mention the nurse you met when you got that food poisoning, the lawyer who was in town for that embezzlement case, the-“

“All right all right! That’s enough of that. This one. Is different,” he said flipping through a cookbook.

“How so?”

“He’s 28.”

“Rather young for your tastes isn’t he?”

“Shut up Bofur. I’m serious.”

“He must look older than he is.”

“A little, but I think it’s the facial hair. He’s so,” Bilbo made an odd gesture with his hands before putting the book back.

“Complicated?”

“Exactly! The only difference being I text him where as you haven’t talked to Nori since you got his number.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Yes. I bet a fresh batch of my mother’s cookies that you can’t ask him on a date right now.”

“Make it three.”

“2 and a ½.”

“Fine!”

Bofur pulled out his phone typing up the message and hitting the send button.

“There,” he said smugly.

A look of horror spread across his face as he looked at his phone.

“What have I done?”

Bilbo patted his shoulder looking down at the phone as it chimed signaling a reply.

“Looks like you just got a date. When do you want the cookies?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo is a sly one isn't he? Not sure what to do for the next chapter, but I should have it up later today/tonight.


	6. Fili and Kili at your Service

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have fun with this

Bilbo got a text the next morning during class from Thorin asking him to call as soon as he could. He didn’t have much of a break between his next few classes so he couldn’t call until he got home around 5 that evening. However Thorin failed to answer his phone 4 times so Bilbo just busied himself until he had to go to Dis’s. Thorin finally called back just as he was stepping out the door.

“Bilbo?”

“Yes this is him.”

“Sorry I didn’t answer earlier. I was caught up in a meeting.”

“It’s fine really. What did you want to talk about?”

“I have to go out of town Thursday, and I don’t think I’ll be back in time for our date.”

There was a pause before Bilbo answered with a small, “oh.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No it’s fine! You can’t just not work.”

Thorin thought that technically he could stop working at any time, but he pushed those thoughts away.

“When will you be getting back?”

“Saturday.”

“We could do brunch on Sunday? Oh, sorry that’s too soon isn’t it. You’ll probably be tired from the ride. Maybe we could just wait until next Friday? That is unless you don’t want to then that’s fine too I mean-“

“Brunch on Sunday sounds wonderful Bilbo.”

Thorin could practically hear the smile in Bilbo’s words as he said, “Great.”

“I’ll talk to you later. I have to get back.”

“Good night Thorin.”

“Good night Bilbo.”

He sighed putting the phone into his pocket and went over to wait at the bus stop. Now it was time to see who was lying and who was telling the truth about the kids he was babysitting tonight. When he got to Dis’s house she was nearly out the door.

“Dinner is in the oven. They eat at 7:30, bath time is at 8:00 after that they can watch a little telly before bed time at 8:30. No later than that though. Understand?”

Bilbo nodded counting the time on his fingers.

“There’s some extra food in there for you in case you haven’t eaten yet. Make sure Kili doesn’t get into it after you put it in the fridge. He’s going through a phase where he really likes eating cold food. No idea why. Will you be all right?” she asked with one foot out the door.

“Oh yes. I’m sure I can handle it.”

“Good, okay bye.”

She seemed to be in such a rush, but Bilbo waved it off. He hung his jacket on the coat rack and turned around to find two little boys looking up at him with curious eyes. He smiled bending down to their level and they backed away a few steps.

“Hello there. My name is Bilbo. I’m your babysitter tonight.”

“Are you going to sit on us?” Fili asked.

“No of course not.”

“Good. Come on Kili,” Fili walked into the living room with Kili following close behind.

“Hm. That wasn’t too bad.” Bilbo started to take off his shoes when he heard a crash from the next room.

“Maybe I spoke too soon,” he said getting up and sprinting into the kitchen.

Just two hours? Those were probably the worst two hours of Bilbo’s life. Dis told him they were both potty trained, but Kili found it much easier to just urinate wherever he was standing. Even if he was running! The trail of piss just lead Bilbo right to where he was. He went through three different pairs of shorts within the first hour. Fili at least went to the bathroom, but after a few minutes the toilet had been clogged with a full roll of toilet paper and water was seeping into the hallway.

Dinner was worse. Fili kept throwing his meatballs at Bilbo whenever his back was turned and Kili decided the sauce would make wonderful paint for his face, the counter, his chair, and the walls. Bilbo wasn’t even sure if they _ate_ any of it. Bath time was a disaster. Did they ever stop screaming? Soap had gotten into his eyes several times and Fili wouldn’t stop dunking his brother’s head under the water. As soon as Bilbo started to drain the tub they hopped out and ran down the stairs. He went after them nearly tripping and almost passed out when he saw the back door open.

When he got there they were rolling in the grass getting mud wherever they could reach. Bilbo managed to wrestle both the children out of the backyard, getting covered in just as much mud, before getting them into the bath again. This time locking the door behind him so they wouldn’t attempt going outside again. After getting them into their pajamas he tucked them into bed and they kept untucking themselves demanding a story. They criticized him whenever he didn’t do any voices and refused to go to sleep until he read the story correctly. Well at least that’s what Fili said. Kili just kept rolling on his bed kicking off his stuffed animals so Bilbo would have to pick them up again.

They managed to fall asleep 10 minutes before Dis stepped had stepped into the door.

“Hello?”

Bilbo crept out of the room and made his way downstairs. Dis took in his appearance and gave him a sorry look. She hung up her coat and waited at the doorway until Bilbo had stood in front of her.

“Um, are you-?”

“You lied.”

“I’m really sorry Bilbo. I just, I really needed a babysitter and-“

Bilbo held a hand up going over to the coat rack and getting his coat.

“Bilbo.”

He gave her a look and she stopped talking.

“If you can watch them on Thursday I should be able to find a new babysitter right afterwords.”

Bilbo sighed his shoulders sagging before rubbing his temples.

“…how long do you need a babysitter?”

Her eyes lit up as she hugged him nearly lifting him from the ground.

“Oh thank you Bilbo! You have no idea how much this means to me!”

When she set him down he held his hand out. She looked at it confused before realizing what he meant and pulling out her wallet. Handing him the cash she smiled at him.

“Thank you Bilbo.”

“It’s no problem. Especially since you’re the one who has to clean Kili’s pee from the carpet.”

“What? Again!”

“He does this regularly?” Bilbo asked his eyes opening wide in shock.

“I’ve been trying to break him of it, but it’s not working so far.”

“Hmm, that is a problem. Oh, another thing, how about I make dinner on Thursday? It's not that the food was bad! You’re cooking is wonderful, but I think they need something a little less messy.”

“Maybe spaghetti was a bad idea, but that’s what they asked for. Anything else they do?”

“Playing in the mud after a bath, Fili clogged the toilet, and pretty sure a vase was broken just after you left,” Bilbo said looking just as tired as he felt.

“Well I’m sure things will go better on Thursday.”

“We can only hope. Goodnight Dis.”

“Good night Bilbo. Sleep in, you deserve it.”

Bilbo ran out to the bus stop in time to catch the last transit to his street. His phone vibrated in his pocket. Bofur had texted him.

**how’d everything go**

It was horrible! they wouldn’t stop screaming, and they kept breaking things and peeing everywhere

**sounds about right, you quiting?**

Of course not, i took this job and I’m going to keep it it’s still good money

**youre braver than me friend**

How’d ur date with Nori go?

**its still going. hes in the bathroom right now**

Well don’t just sit there and text me, be ready to greet him when he gets out

**not sure how to do that what would I even say “how was the toilet? was it to your liking?”**

Bofur you know how to flirt you’ll be fine

**gotta go just heard the sink running wish me luck**

Luck!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry we didnt get much actual interaction with our two favourite monsters but dont worry i'll be doing that in later chapters. thank you for reading! ill update with a couple chapters tomorrow


	7. Hot Twink Hotline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huzzah for plot!

Saturday morning had Bilbo sitting on his couch looking over his lecture notes for his Zoology class. Light music flooded through the house from his speaker system and a warm cup of tea sat on the coffee table. It had been a few weeks since he and Thorin started dating and so far things were going really well for them. Thorin had started taking him out Friday nights and Sunday mornings if Bilbo wasn’t too swamped with homework. Not only that but Fili and Kili finally liked him enough where they didn’t scream nearly as loud when their mom was away. Overall things were going well.

A familiar guitar chord started to play and Bilbo shot up from his seat. He quickly ran over the wall and slid across the floor during the next guitar chord. When the lyrics began he was all in.

“Just take those old records off the shelf!”

He pulled up his leg pretending it was an air guitar, “I’ll sit and listen to ‘em by myself!”

Dropping his leg he did a spin singing, “The same music ain’t got the same soul!”

He then grabbed his pencil finishing with, “I like that old time rock an-“

His phone started vibrating on the coffee table so he crawled over to the front of the couch to grab it. Reading the caller ID he answered with a bored voice.

“This is the Hot Twink Sex Line would you be interested in our free 24 hour trial of hot singles ready to please your every wish?”

“Hello Bilbo.”

“Hi Thorin. How’s work?”

“It’s fine. I’m just here to fix a few things that Hayden botched up.”

“I can’t believe you had to go in on a Saturday.”

“Neither can I. I have a surprise for you though.”

“Really?” Bilbo pulled himself fully over the couch so he could sit properly.

“Yes it should be getting there in an hour or so.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” Bilbo had started looking over his notes again.

“I know.”

“What did you get me?”

“Well uh-“

The doorbell rang and Bilbo grabbed his sweatpants from the stair case being sure to put them on before he opened the door. With his phone still to his ear he listened to the delivery man up front.

“Bilbo Baggins?”

“That’s me.”

“Sign here please,” the man held out his POD tool for Bilbo to sign.

After getting his signature Bilbo was given a very large bouquet of chocolate dipped fruit.

“Have a nice day sir.”

“You too,”he said taking the bouquet inside.

“Thorin you sod. It’s beautiful.”

Bilbo could hear him quietly laughing on the other end of the phone line. Bilbo took off the wrapping tossing a few bits of pineapple in his mouth.

“Tho mow’s the mrufir?”

“Bilbo I can’t understand you with your mouth full.”

Bilbo swallowed and answered, “That could be taken out of context.”

“Really? You’re doing this now.”

“Calm down Mr. Big and Broodiful. I was only kidding.”

“I do not brood.”

“Ten bucks says as soon as I hang up you’re going to start brooding about the nickname.”

“Good bye Bilbo.”

“Thank you for taking part in our 24 hour free trial. If you would like to upgrade to a yearly subscription of Hot Twinks-“

The phone went dead before he could finish.

“Rude!”

Bilbo took his sweatpants off setting them on the chair before taking his phone and his fruit bouquet back into the living room. His ipod had gone back to playing soft music and he relaxed on the couch taking whatever fruit was in his reach as he did his homework. If he got a bit of chocolate on his short essay than there was no one to complain but himself.

Thorin left his job a few hours after he had talked to Bilbo. He did everything he could to avoid weekend shifts, but sometimes it couldn’t be helped. His phone rang and he checked the caller ID seeing that it was Dwalin. That’s strange.

“Aren’t you supposed to be picking Ori up from work,” he answered.

“I am, but I saw something on the way that you won’t like.”

“What is it?”

“Not what. Who.”

Thorin got into his car tossing his briefcase in the back seat.

“You’re going to have to be more specific than that Dwalin.”

“I saw Azog leaving some industry building.”

His blood ran cold and he nearly dropped his keys from his hand.

“What,” he hissed.

“That was my reaction too. I don’t know what he’s doin here Thorin, but it’s obviously not good. What are we going to do?”

Thorin stayed quiet on his end until he gathered his thoughts and answered, “We are going to do nothing. We’re out. You’re out Dwalin. I need you to call Frerin and let him know. I’ll call Dis. I don’t want any of us spotted by that disgusting Rukhs. He’ll only cause trouble that I can’t afford to cover up.”

“Lie low until he leaves.”

“Do you think we have a choice to do anything else.”

“I say we chase him out. Make sure he can’t come back.”

“That would put a lot of people in danger. You know that. It’s not like when we were younger my friend. Too many weak spots now,” he said thinking of Fili and Kili.

“You’re right. You’re always right. I have to go Ori’s coming out now.”

“Tell Frerin not to do anything stupid.”

“I’ll be sure to,” he finished before hanging up.

Thorin sighed and pressed his head against the steering wheel. His phone laying forgotten in his lap. He was curious about what Azog was doing here, but he didn’t want to drag his family into a turf war. He thought of Bilbo being seen with him and getting hurt and he gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. No. That wasn’t going to happen. They’d gotten out years ago, and as much as it made him sick to have Azog so close he couldn’t let his pride drag him back in.

Perhaps he could convince Bilbo to have a date indoors tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thorin is so sweet. Sorry this is so short, usually I start to get bored around the 8-9k word mark but I shall push through for you dear readers! Another chapter will be posted later tonight.


	8. I Have A Nut Allergy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nut allergies are serious things.

Thorin really tried to convince Bilbo that maybe they should have a date indoors this time around, but Bilbo insisted they go to some place called the Sweet’s Café which opened up recently. Thorin couldn’t tell him exactly why it would be better to stay inside without pulling his own skeletons out of the closet so he agreed. So there he was sitting inside a gaudy pink building with a chattering college student smiling as he bit into his powdered donut.

“You’d think that Grayson would understand that just because you can say these things in Latin doesn’t mean you should. You never know the types of people you’d meet.”

Their waitress came back with their drinks. Bilbo had ordered something called a Double Malt Caramel BrindlyBunt and Thorin just got a dark coffee, two sugars. Bilbo’s came in a milkshake glass with a heavy amount of whipped cream and little caramel cubes sitting on top of it. Thorin shuddered at the sight of it.

“Oh hush you,” he said taking a sip from the colorful bendy straw.

“I don’t know how you do it,” Thorin said taking his mug in hand.

“My mother always said never date a man who doesn’t like desserts.”

Thorin made a show of taking another bite from his donut and Bilbo giggled seeing the powder get into his beard. He then coughed covering his mouth before taking another sip of his odd drink. Thorin set his mug down wiping the powder from his face when a voice called out making him freeze.

“Thorin Durin. Strange coincidence seeing you here.”

A man in a dark grey suit with a mangled scar on his face approached their table. Thorin glared at him as he made his way over. Bilbo sat there looking confused then covered his mouth again when a few more coughs escaped his lips.

“Azog.”

“Who’s your friend?” Azog asked looking at Bilbo.

“I thought you were in Wales. Manning your father’s business elsewhere,” Thorin said changing the subject.

“This is elsewhere isn’t it?” he replied grinning.

Bilbo had gone into a full coughing fit now his face turning red as their waitress had come over to check on them.

“Sir, are you all right?”

“Excuse me there wouldn’t happen to be any nuts in the drink is there?” he asked panting.

“Like the hazelnut syrup?” she asked covering her lips.

“Oh. Wonderful. Thorin I need to go to hospital. Deadly nut allergy and all that,” he said wheezing holding onto his throat.

“What!?” Thorin shot up from the table breaking his standoff with Azog and then lead, well, carried Bilbo to his car.

Azog watched them leave and then took out his phone. He needed to make a few calls.

When they got to the hospital Bilbo didn’t have to wait too long to see a doctor due to the severity his allergy had gotten to. Yet he still had the balls to make jokes like “What a nutty situation I’ve gotten in” or “Guess I’m really a member of the peanut gallery now”. Thorin wasn’t sure if he wanted to kiss him for being alive or strangle him for just how badly unwarranted the jokes were. They injected Bilbo with something called [Epinephrine](http://www.foodallergy.org/treating-an-allergic-reaction/epinephrine) and got him into a private room.

Thorin wasn’t allowed in during the procedure due to the “Family Members Only” rule so Bilbo’s emergency contacts were phoned and the doctor came out a good hour later to talk to Thorin.

“Hello. My name is Dr. Gandalf. You came in here with Mr. Baggins yes?”

“Yes. I’m Thorin Durin,” he stood up holding out his hand.

Gandalf starred at it for a moment before shaking it and flipping through some of the pages of his clipboard.

“It seems he’s had a bad allergic reaction.”

“Nuts. We had gone to a new café and he ordered a drink he’d never heard of. Didn’t check to see what was in it.”

“Did you know of his allergy before the incident?”

“I didn’t find out until he started coughing as we ate.”

“Hmmm,” the man was writing things on his clipboard as they spoke and Thorin grew impatient.

“Will he be all right?”

“Who?” The doctor asked looking confused.

“Bilbo!”

“Oh yes! Mr. Baggins will be just fine. However, we suggest that he carry a small allergy kit with him so that it doesn’t happen again.”

“May I se-“

A man in a very strange hat came barreling down the hallway before stopping and turning around to get his bearings. He spotted the room number he was looking for and started to march towards it.

“Ah that must be Mr. Bofur,” Gandalf said waving to him.

“Bofur? What are you doing here?” Thorin asked.

“I’m Bilbo’s emergency contact. Wait, what are you doing here?”

“I’ll leave you two to catch up,” Gandalf said walking away.

“I brought him here.”

“What happened?”

“We’d gone to eat and he ended up getting an allergic reaction to some of his food.”

“He didn’t have his allergy kit did he.”

“I didn’t even know he had one until now.”

Bofur sighed and crossed his arms.

“I told him he’s gonna get himself killed one day. Honestly he’s more stubborn than…wait did you say you two had gone out to eat?”

“Yes?”

“You! You’re the mystery man he talks about. You’ve got to be kiddin me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“No offense Thorin, but you’re about as interestin as filin taxes.”

Thorin gave him a bored look before Bofur turned away in favor of walking into Bilbo’s room. Thorin followed soon after, family rule be damned, and they saw him sitting up in bed, an IV drip in his arm and flipping the channels on the television.

“Bilbo.”

“Bofur! Looks like I left my allergy kit at home,” he said blushing.

“Now I’ve told ya a hundred times not to leave that at home and look at where it’s gotten you. What did you even eat?”

“It was a drink. I had no idea it had hazelnut syrup in there. The menu didn’t really list much of the ingredients.”

Thorin stood a little ways off in the room until Bilbo waved him over.

“Sorry to worry you,” he said.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a nut allergy?”

“I didn’t really think it was relevant.”

“You could’ve died.”

“But I didn’t.”

“You could have though,” Thorin was now standing by the bed.

Bilbo took his hand and interlaced their fingers.

“I’m fine Thorin. The doctor said I can go home tonight as long as I come back in tomorrow for a checkup.”

Thorin leaned down pressing a soft kiss to his lips pulling away just so their foreheads touched.

“I didn’t think our first kiss would be in a hospital room. I’m a little disappointed,” Bilbo whispered smiling.

“Hey. I’m right here you know. You think you could wait until later for the lovebird act,” Bofur said tapping his foot.

“Oh right. Bofur this is Thorin.”

“Yeah I know him already. He’s friend’s with Dwalin who is Ori’s husband who’s older brother is Nori. That and I met his sister Dis in highschool. We’re well acquainted.”

“Wait. Dis is your sister?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve been dating him for weeks and didn’t know his last name was Durin!”

“Well uh,” Bilbo fumbled awkwardly for words.

“Oh my- Bilbo you are a piece of work.”

“That would make Fili and Kili your nephews,” Bilbo added.

“Yes they are.”

“I am so sorry.”

“I get that a lot,” Thorin replied.

Bofur and Thorin then got into a conversation catching up as Bilbo listened for all the connections there were. It was almost like Thorin and Bilbo had been avoiding each other all this time. Bofur’s brother Bombur and his cousin Bifur who were friends with Gloin and Oin who knew Balin ,Thorin’s cousin, who’s younger sibling was Dwalin who was married to Ori who’s older siblings were Nori and Dori who happened to be Bilbo’s Biology teacher. Frerin and Dis were Thorin’s younger siblings and Kili and Fili were Dis’s sons.

Dr. Gandalf came in later that evening to announce that visitation hours were over, and to release Bilbo with a clean bill of health. Bofur did one last once over for him before trusting Thorin to take him home. It had gotten dark already when they left the hospital and Bilbo was ready to get into his cozy bed. Perhaps have some tea beforehand. Did he have any homework left? Probably not.

The car ride was silent except for the radio playing multiple ads. When they pulled up to Bilbo’s townhouse Thorin helped him out of the car and up the porch stairs.

“Sorry about ruining the conversation with your friend,” he apologized.

“I assure you he was no friend of mine.”

“Oh. Well good thing I almost died isn’t it. No better way to get out of a conversation I say.”

“Bilbo.”

Bilbo grew quiet as Thorin pulled him into his arms. He placed his hands on his chest not knowing what else to do with them and leaned up on his toes. Thorin leaned down meeting him the rest of the way as their lips melded together. His hand cradling the back of the younger man's neck. Bilbo moaned as Thorin darted his tongue out to graze against his lips and gripped the man’s shirt tighter. He then gasped when Thorin bit his bottom lip and held him tighter as he began thrusting his tongue in his mouth. They pulled away when they were out of breath Bilbo’s hands having moved to gripping Thorin’s collar pressing soft kisses against his lips.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again,” Thorin said against his lips.

Bilbo released the grip he had on his shirt in exchange for placing his hands on Thorin’s cheeks to press a soft kiss to his nose.

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's always good to end on a happy note. I hope you enjoyed their first kiss as much as I enjoyed writing it. uwu


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I already have the tag for Graphic Depictions of Violence but here's another just in case.  
> TW: School Shootings

Ori laid panting under Dwalin pressing his hands against his chest and dragging his nails along his skin. Dwalin had reached back grabbing onto his thighs pulling him into every thrust he gave. Ori moaned long and loud grabbing onto his shoulders. Dwalin had slowed his pace again rotating his hips slow enough to drive him mad.

“Dwalin please!” he begged.

Dwalin leaned down smothering his cries with his lips and tongue. He grabbed onto Ori’s hips thrusting quickly causing the headboard to slam against the wall. Ori wrapped his arms around his shoulders and his legs around his waist as Dwalin steadied a hand at his hip and began pumping his cock with his other hand. The teacher was moaning encouragements as his neck was being smothered with lips and teeth.

“So close so close so close,” he said over and over his blunt nails digging into Dwalin’s shoulder blades. When Dwalin hit that spot again his back arched as he shouted his cum spurting against their stomachs. His legs trembled as the larger man kept thrusting to find his own release. His cock had gotten too sensitive to touch so he batted Dwalin’s hand away. Ori clenched down around him causing his hips to stutter and his thighs to twitch. Dwalin panted slowly pulling out before falling to the side of the bed. He bounced a little when his husband landed and reached over to run his hands along his cheeks.

Dwalin grunted pulling Ori close and muttering sweet nothings into his hair. He giggled at the attention pressing his face into Dwalin’s neck and leaving soft kisses against his skin. They laid there for a while just cuddling and stopping every so often to share a warm kiss before the alarm went off. Ori sighed and wiggled out of Dwalin’s grasp to head to the bathroom.

Time to get ready for work.

Ori brushed his teeth and blushed when he looked in the mirror. Rubbing a hand over the marks on his neck realizing that he’s going to have to wear a turtleneck today. Second time this week since moving everything in. He found that children were always so curious and if he didn’t cover the marks he’d get hundreds of questions about them. How embarrassing. He stepped into the shower and it was only a few minutes into washing his hair before he was joined. Large arms wrapped around his waist pulling him close so they were back to chest.

“Good morning,” Ori hummed.

Dwalin grumbled something about how it’s always too early for mornings to be good before helping Ori wash himself. Ori did the same for him making sure to keep his touch thorough but fleeting. He really tried not to take too many morning showers with Dwalin during the week. Being late for work was embarrassing enough without adding an awkward limp to it. His coworkers tended to tease him mercilessly for it during lunch breaks.

When the soap was gone they stood under the spray for a little while before another alarm went off. Dwalin sighed loudly clearly irritated and Ori turned off the shower. Before he could get to his towel he was swept off his feet and placed on the sink counter. Ori squeaked as Dwalin stood in front of him with his hands on either side of him pressed against the counter.

“Dwa-mmph!”

Dwalin kissed him hard rubbing his hands along his sides. Ori pulled away to take a breath only to have Dwalin’s hand on the back of his head pulling him in for another kiss.

“Dwalin-“ kiss “I have to-“ another kiss “Dwalin!” Ori had slapped his hands against the man’s shoulders getting him to pull away.

“I can’t be late again today,” he said turning away his cheeks stained red.

“Fine, fine.” Dwalin said pressing another kiss to his cheek as he lifted him from the counter.

Once Ori was back on his feet again he left the bathroom and started rummaging through his closet. Dwalin followed suit, but didn’t take too long grabbing a pair of loose jeans and a t-shirt and going back into the bedroom to change.

“Do not go commando again today,” he called from the back of the closet.

Just then he heard a dresser drawer open and being rustled through. Ori smiled at that and then managed to find his green knit turtleneck. Tossing it on he went out of the closet over to the dresser taking out his briefs. Dwalin watched him out of the corner of his eye as he finished getting dressed. By the time they had gotten downstairs and put on their shoes another alarm went off. Their routine being easy to adjust to even in new surroundings.

“Ready?”

“Always ready,” Dwalin said leaning down to press a kiss against his forehead.

Ori grabbed his satchel from the dining room table and they left promptly afterwards. On the way there they stopped at a bagel shop getting a few things before driving to the elementary school. Ori started talking about his lesson plan, and asking Dwalin questions about how work was going and the like. Dwalin answered to the best of his ability some of the questions more strange than regular, but that's what happens when you marry a man who works with kids all day. His mood changed when they pulled up to the stoplight not a mile from the elementary school.

Just as they came to a stop Dwalin looked over at the familiar business before a car pulled up beside him with Azog sitting complacently in the driver’s seat. Dwalin looked away his shoulders tense waiting for the light to turn green. Ori noticed the change in mood and started fiddling with the hem of his shirt. When the light turned green Azog had made a left turn while Dwalin went straight. He let out the breath he was holding and glanced at Ori who was looking at him with concern.

“Dwalin, what was that?”

“It was nothing,” he lied.

“…you don’t have to lie to me,” he said placing a hand on his knee.

Dwalin’s grip tightened on the steering wheel as he took a shaky breath.

“I just saw someone who I knew a long time ago. From my old job.”

“That’s bad isn’t it?”

“As long as I’m not spotted while he’s here things will turn out fine. I’ve been doing well so far.”

That was the end of that conversation. Ori wasn’t sure how much to push. Dwalin told him a little of his old job, but just enough to where he was still mostly in the dark about it. When they pulled up to the school Ori hugged him tightly pressing against him as much as he could over the seats. Dwalin let out a small laugh hugging him just as much.

“I’ll see you after work,” he said opening the car door.

Ori gave him several kisses before grabbing his satchel from the back and heading inside. Then sun was just starting to rise as other drivers pulled in to drop off their children. Dwalin waited until he saw that Ori was safely in the building before pulling off himself.

If later that day no one noticed a man slipping into the building unnoticed it was too late to do anything about it now.

 

* * *

 

Bilbo sat in Professor Dori’s class watching the man excitedly explain something about connective tissues when Bach started playing from the front. His teacher stopped embarrassed grabbing his phone from his pocket and went outside to answer it.

There was a loud shout from outside before the professor came back in gathering all of his papers and stuffing them into his case. The students watched confused as he muttered a quick “class dismissed” before leaving. Bilbo look concerned as he packed up his own things and hurried to follow the other students out.

When he went to the first floor there were students gathered in large groups around the television as the news of a school shooting played on screen. Bilbo’s heart skipped a beat and his phone started vibrating immediately.

“Hello?”

“Bilbo! Where are you?” Thorin’s voice asked panicked.

“I’m at school. Thorin, what happened?”

“Ori is-…he’s in critical condition right now. I’m on my way to the hospital, do you want me to come get you?”

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll have another chapter up tonight guys.


	10. Omission of the Truth Isn't Lying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit gets real again.

When they arrived at the hospital Bilbo had never seen so many people in a private waiting room before. Professor Dori was there and a man with strange hair was rubbing his back looking just as concerned. That must be Nori. Another man who looked similar to Thorin was making a poor attempt at consoling Dwalin who had his head in his hands. Bofur was there talking to an older fellow who kept glancing back at Dwalin looking heart-broken. The room was small so it was a bit crowded but Thorin managed to find Bilbo a seat before he went over to speak to Dwalin.

Bilbo had only talked to Ori once, and he was a very kind fellow when they met. He and Thorin ran into the couple when they were leaving the park one Friday evening. He vaguely remembered planning to go visit their house, but he thought it would be a long while before that would happen. It soon grew very quiet and for a long time there wasn’t a sound but of Dori’s shaky breaths filling the air.

When the doctor came in both Dwalin and Dori shot up from their seats. It was Dr. Gandalf. Just what exactly did he specialize in to be in this section of the hospital?

“How is he?” Dori asked first.

“He’s stable for the moment. If he manages to last through the night then we can expect him to recover, but it’ll be a very slow process,” the doctor paused as he looked through the file.

“According to this he was shot at several times from a very close range. The police told me he managed to wrestle the gun away from the culprit. He lost a lot of blood before the ambulance arrived I’m afraid.

“What do you mean if he lasts through the night,” Nori stood now.

Gandalf looked exasperated as he explained that Ori’s stomach and lungs had been puncture by the bullets. The acid ate away at some of the tissues on some of his organs so they had to find a balance between the medications and the pain killers so he could rest.

“Can we see him?” Dwalin asked.

“I don’t think it wise for his room to be piled into, so I would insist upon only one person at a time being in the room.”

They agreed to let Dori into the room first as Thorin pulled a reluctant Dwalin outside.

The man who looked like Thorin approached Bilbo with a weak smile on his face. It was much easier to notice the differences up close. The man's hair was a lighter shade, brown maybe? The grey hairs definitely weren't there. When he smiled small dimples adorned the corners of his cheeks and his beard was more like well kept stubble.

“You must be the one Thorin can’t shut up about.”

“Oh! Well, yes, I suppose so,” Bilbo said his cheeks tinting pink.

“I’m Frerin, his younger brother. I wish we’d met through better circumstances.”

“So do I. Ori’s the last person to deserve something like this.”

“You’re an old friend of his?”

“Ah! No, we’ve only met once but...he’s so kind. I couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to hurt him.”

Frerin nodded and took a seat next to him leaning in a bit too closely.

“So you seem very young, what’s got you so interested in the old man with graying hair.”

“Ah, well uh-”

 

* * *

 

In the other room Thorin did his best to calm down an angry Dwalin.

“Let’s wait you said! Let’s wait!? Look at where it’s gotten us! Ori might not-“he stopped to look at the ground clenching his fists.

“Ori is going to be fine Dwalin.”

“You don’t know that Thorin.”

“He’s been with you for a long time, I know he’s strong enough to make it through.”

“This is no time for jokes.”

“I’m not joking. I know you're angry, but you can't let this make you do anything rash.”

“You expect me to sit back and do nothing after what they-!”

“Dwalin. You are out of this. I’m going to take care of it,” Thorin said firmly.

“I’m not going to sit here and let them get away with it. I can't. Not when it's my fault he's in there!”

Thorin placed his hands on his friends’ shoulders and looked at him.

“Ori needs you here more than I need your help. We don’t know if they’ll try to come back and finish what they started. Stay with your husband. For both of your sakes.”

Dwalin gave him a weak look and nodded breathing slowly to calm down.

 

* * *

 

Frerin kept asking question after question and Bilbo wasn’t sure how to answer some of them without revealing his private business. Where as Thorin was more reserved when he spoke Frerin was practically an open book. If they didn't look so much alike Bilbo would wonder if they were even related.

“Basically you have an old man kink. That’s pretty nice. Shows the men of the world they can still get with pretty little things like yourself.”

“I’d rather you not talk about it like that,” Bilbo said crossing his arms. He'd been teased enough by Bofur about that thank you very much.

“Have you and my brother fucked ye-aaahh!”

Thorin had pulled Frerin from the seat by his ear before turning him around and elbowing him in the back. He sat down placing his arm around Bilbo’s shoulders and crossing one leg all in one smooth motion.

“I guess you’re used to doing that,” Bilbo said.

“You have no idea,” he sighed.

Frerin grumbled rubbing his back as he went to his seat.

“Are you all right?” Thorin asked tilting his head to get a better look at Bilbo.

“I’m fine. Just worried is all.”

“We’re all worried, but I think our stay here is a little unnecessary now. It’s time for Ori’s family to support him.”

“Are you not Ori’s family?” Bilbo said with anger in his eyes.

Thorin’s eyes widened a bit at the look before he said, “I meant his brothers and Dwalin. It wouldn’t do well if we stayed and loitered. We’d be giving the doctors a hard time.”

“Oh. Sorry,” he said looking to his feet.

“It’s fine.”

They bid their farewells. Thorin stopped to say something quick to Frerin before they left. As they made their way to the car Thorin rubbed a hand at his forehead.

6 years. They’d only managed 6 years before it all came to a head. Dis had been right about paying off some of their rivals to leave them be, but Thorin had been right too about how big the number didn’t matter to some people. If Azog was here now causing trouble who knows what other kinds of people would show up next. Would they have to leave again? How would Dis explain it to Viri? How long could they manage moving every time they were found until they just stopped.

“Thorin!”

He snapped out of his thoughts and found Bilbo pulling on the car door. He pulled out his clicker pressing the Unlock button then stepped into the driver’s side of the car.

“Thorin, are you all right?”

“Would you like to stay with me tonight?”

“Really Thorin! You’re asking for that now! At a time like this!?” Bilbo looked offended and crossed his arms over his chest.

“You misunderstand my intentions. I was only asking because I want to-“

He wanted to what? Of course he wanted to protect Bilbo, but what could he say? He could tell the truth…or.

“Do you remember that man who we ran into at the café?”

“The one who you said wasn’t your friend?”

“Yes. His name is Azog. He and I used to be colleagues until he started hanging around with the wrong kinds of people. One day I caught him doing something very illegal. I stopped him, but apparently it was some kind of ‘right of passage’ in his group. He became very angry with me, and he holds a grudge against me that has often put my family in danger.”

“Thorin. Why are you telling me this?”

“I think he’s behind this. Now that he’s here, I want you to be safe. I don’t know when he’ll leave or what he’s up to.”

“You could call the police!”

“We’ve tried. He covers his tracks well, and the man responsible for the shooting today was one of his grunts. He won’t say a word to the authorities.”

Bilbo did wonder how Thorin already knew such information, but instead he asked, “What do we do?”

“I have a few connections of my own. I’ll take care of this, but until he’s gone I need you to be careful.”

Bilbo nodded a look of determination on his face. Thorin blinked and then smiled at the young man. Well, at least he knew Bilbo would be more cautious this time around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Too bad Bilbo isn't spending the night.


	11. A Haircut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Thorin's hair length just imagine it going from Oakenshield to this http://25.media.tumblr.com/7f3939b95dc6d8f25d233c9578e420cf/tumblr_mxka8fYWni1s2xkv8o1_500.jpg
> 
> still very handsome even with the gray hairs I think

He chopped it off. Six years he’d let it grow never liking how it looked when it was cropped, but due to the recent events he felt it was time to let go.

“It’s very good quality. Would you like to donate it?” The barber asked.

“Sure."

The barber wiped any stray hairs from his shoulders and was tipped heavily. Thorin ran a hand through his hair no longer down his back, but stopping a little behind his ears. He’d kept it combed back out of his face like always. The barber did ask if he wanted bangs which he inwardly flinched at. They never framed his face right. At least that’s what Dis had always told him.

When he came home Frerin was sitting in the living room reading a gossip magazine. He looked at his brother before doing a double take and standing up.

“You’re serious?”

“No. I’m Thorin,” he said walking to his study.

Frerin ignored the comment and followed after him.

“What are you doing to do?”

“I have a meeting with Azog today.”

“And?”

“I’m going to tell him to leave,” Thorin pulled out one of the drawers of his desk looking through the folders.

“That’s it? You’re going to tell him to leave? You can’t tell me you think that plan is going to work. It won’t,” Frerin now occupied Thorin’s lounge chair.

“It will,” he said pulling out what he was looking for.

“No it won’t. This man wants you dead. Deader than dead. That or he wants you to wish you were dead. He’s _fucking insane_ , and _your plan_ is you are going to tell him to leave. I’ve never been more disappoint- what’s that?”

Frerin watched his brother look through the papers in the blue folder. Thorin’s eyes lit up as he pulled a small slip of paper and set it aside.

“Thorin what did you find?”

“Information.”

“Don’t be a cryptic smartass now.”

“The less you know about this Frerin the better.”

“You know I remember the last time you said that we found you hanging by your ankles bloody and beaten from the rafters in a snack cake warehouse.”

“That was one time.”

“Do you have any idea how much research I had to do to think of excuses for your injuries. You’re lucky the police didn’t look any further into it.

As Frerin talked Thorin had found a few more papers setting them on the desk and then putting the file away. He went over to the portrait on the wall taking it off and pressing a switch. Two panels in the wall parted to reveal a rack holding all kinds of guns.

“Do you remember how to handle a CZ 750?”

“Thorin, you hurt me.”

 

* * *

 

Thorin met Azog in the park. He was sitting at a bench feeding the birds when Thorin spotted him and took the seat offered.

“How is Mr. Baggins?”

“Better than your wife,” Thorin said.

“That might’ve been a scathing retort had we not divorced before the incident.”

“I know. I try to stay updated.”

“Did you come here to threaten me?”

“I don’t make threats Azog. I thought mirrors would be a reminder of that. I’m telling you to leave.”

Azog had stopped and then outright laughed. A shadow was cast over him as Thorin felt cold metal on the back of his neck.

“You think I came here unprepared?” Azog asked.

“No, but it’s funny that you think I did.”

Azog raised his eyebrow before spotting a red dot on his sleeve. Several more of them appeared on his chest.

“Put it away Yazneg.”

The man did as he was told backing away. Thorin lifted his hand in a small wave and the red dots on Azog vanished. They stared at each other before Azog looked back at the pigeons eating the crumbs.

“I’m not leaving Thorin.”

“Then you’ve dug your own grave,” Thorin went to stand up when Azog grabbed his arm.

“Maybe during my stay here I’ll pay a visit to that poor teacher again. How noble he was throwing himself in front of those innocent children. After all I should offer my condolences to your old partner for his loss…hmm after that I could see your precious nephews. How old are they now? 3? 4? Maybe Mr. Baggins will know. He’s been babysitting them for a while now and-”

“Are you done?”

“What?”

“I said are you done? Oh, forgive me. I forgot how you could never shut up,” Thorin wrenched his hand out of his grasp and stood to his full height. He wiped the sleeve of his arm where Azog had touched him and then flattened the collar of his jacket. He looked past the trees slicing a hand over his throat before turning back to face Azog again.

“I’d say that I plan on having you skinned into a rug, but I don’t think anyone would buy it. Such ugly scars. Probably much better to flay you and leave your corpse to the birds. You’d do better being the pigeon shit on the concrete than sitting here with your pathetic grunts threatening children,” he finished walking off.

Out of the corner of his eye Thorin saw Azog grab his cellphone. He lifted his arm high snapping twice before dropping it to his side.. He heard Azog cry out and turned a little to see his hand bleeding and his phone on the ground with a gaping hole in it.

The last thing he needed was Azog making anymore phone calls.

When he got back to his car he saw Frerin lounging in the back seat. He had a smug smile on his face as he played with one of his laser pointers. Thorin sighed taking his spot in the driver’s seat and pulled off.

“Well that didn’t go well.”

“No shit.”

“What now?”

“Dwalin is staying in the hospital with Ori. He’s more than capable of taking care of any questionable figures. I need you to keep an eye on Dis and the kids.”

“Of course I get put on babysitting duty,” Frerin pouted.

“I remember something about you being the favourite uncle.”

“Oh no, that’s amazing and strong uncle Thorin. He wrestles bears and fights dragons. Remember?”

“Think I’d rather be dealing with bears and dragons than the shitstorm that’s brewing now.”

“You know people always say things like that until they actually have to deal with them. Then they start wishing they could take it back.”

“I’m not one of those people,” Thorin said taking a sharp right to jostle his brother against the door.

“Oof! You’d rather fight a dragon than deal with a hitman?”

“You can always see a dragon coming.”

“…good point.”

They pulled up to Dis’s house and parked just beside the mailbox. Frerin hopped out first and Thorin waved him off dragging something out from under the passenger seat. His brother shrugged walking to the door and was greeted by a worn out looking Bilbo.

“Bilbo! My favourite twink!” Frerin lifted him from the ground spinning him before setting him down again.

“Uncle Frerin!” Fili ran out with Kili following close behind as they clung to his legs.

“Whatsa twink? Are they like twinkies?”

“Twinkies!” Kili squealed as he bounced on his toes.

“Ah yes? Yes.” Frerin ruffled their hair and Bilbo crossed his arms.

“Did Dis send you over? I told her I could handle them today,” Bilbo said.

“Nah, I just came here to see my beautiful curly haired twinkie,” he said barely grazing the back of his hand along Bilbo’s cheek.

Bilbo gave him a bored look as Frerin batted his eyelashes.

“Do you like Mr.Boggins?” Fili asked.

“Twinkies!” Kili said tugging on his pants leg.

“Sorry Kili I don’t have any twinkies.”

Kili mouth was agape before he pouted angrily at his feet.

“If you’re going to visit than you don’t need to be standing in the doorway,” Bilbo said ushering them all in. He was about to shut the door before a well-polished shoe kept it from closing all the way. Bilbo opened it again and his eyes grew wide.

“Thorin?”

“Sorry to bring another child over,” he said gesturing to his brother as he stepped inside.

“You cut your hair,” Bilbo said with his head tilted.

Thorin ran a hand through it asking, “You don’t like it?”

“Well, I am going to miss the Viking look, but you look very dashing with short hair,” he said smiling shyly.

Thorin smiled and leaned down to press a soft kiss against his lips.

“EEEEWWWWW!” the boys called out from behind the corner of the wall.

“Oh quiet you two!” Bilbo said turning to the boys placing his hands on his hips.

They giggled and went back into the living room to play with Frerin.

“Coffee?”

“I’d love some.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual I'm going to have another chapter up tonight! Thank you so much for the support. Making it to such a high word count in such a little amount of time makes me feel all giddy. Honestly from the way things are going this may turn into a series. I don't really see the story ending with the first 20 chapters.


	12. Meetings and Break Ins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Techincally it's the next day when I posted this, but I'm still getting two chapters up tomorrow because I messed up my own deadline.

When Bilbo got home that night the first thing he did was plug his heating pad in and laid it on his sheets. Fili and Kili had insisted upon piggy back rides and whenever he managed to get one off of his back the other hopped on complaining and saying that their ride wasn’t as long as their brothers. Thorin offered to help, but Kili got scared being up so high on his shoulders so they stuck to torturing Bilbo. After taking a long shower and getting into his pajamas he settled into bed and fell asleep with a book in his hands.

Later that night Bilbo woke with a start. There were strange noises coming from downstairs. He got up going over to the door and put his ear to the wood. There were people talking down there. He jumped back from the door as if he’d been burned and tip toed over to his night table. Grabbing his phone from the charger he went into his bathroom shutting off the light. Footsteps started up the stairs and he opened the cupboard door under his sink crawling into it. The door to his room opened just as he shut the door on himself.

Holding his phone to his chest he breathed quietly as he heard his room being thrashed. The sound of glass shattering filled his ears and there was a groan from the chesser drawer. Hundreds of thunks hit the ground at once. Probably his book case. Drawers were being opened and closed.

“This is the right place isn’t it!” a voice called from downstairs.

“The bed’s still warm!”

Another set of footfalls came up the stairs. Bilbo listened as more of his things were being tossed about until he saw the light flick on from the sliver of space between the sink cabinet and its doors. The shower curtain was pulled open and the footsteps retreated from the bathroom. Bilbo head the light switch being flicked as darkness flooded his vision again.

“You idiot! The bed isn’t warm because a person was here. It was warm because of a fuckin heatin pad!”

Bilbo gripped his phone tightly as he heard a scuffle break out before hearing a body roll down the stairs.

“Everyone get out! He isn’t here,” said the voice in his room.

“Should we call the boss?” said another.

“I’m pretty sure he’ll figure it out when we don’t come back with him you fuckwad!”

Bilbo listened as the man descended the stairs yelling and cursing at the others. He didn’t know how long he sat in the cupboard before his house grew completely silent. Taking a shaky breath he dialed 111 waiting for the receptionist to pick up.

“Hello this is Tauriel, what’s your emergency?”

“Please come quickly men have broken into my house and I don’t know if they’re gone.”

“Sir please calm down. Can you tell me your address?”

* * *

 

Thorin sat in his bed, novel in his hands, nodding off after every few sentences before jerking his head back up and squinting at the page. He sighed setting his book down onto the floor and laying in bed. Maybe he could finally go to sleep now. As soon as he got situated under the blankets his phone started playing “Cherry Pie”. He groaned into his pillow turning over and reaching out grabbing his phone from somewhere under the blankets. Pressing the talk button he held it against his ear grunting.

“Thorin?” Bilbo asked softly.

Thorin shot up from the bed tossing the covers off of him.

“What is it? What happened? Are you all right?” he asked as he managed to pull his sweatpants from under the bed.

“Thorin someone broke in. I think they were looking for me,” he sniffled.

“Where are you?”

“I’m still at the townhouse. The police are here investigating. Thorin I- I don’t know what to do,” he sobbed.

“I’ll be right there Bilbo. Just give me 10 minutes all right?” He had his shoes on and was opening drawers trying to find his keys.

“Okay.”

Thorin said 10 minutes but he made it there in 8. When he stepped out of the car he couldn't spot the young college student due to the flashing lights of the police cars and the officers walking about. A few of the neighbors had begun to peak through their windows or even step outside onto their porches to see what was going on. By the time Thorin spotted Bilbo the young man was leaning against one of the police cars with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders.

“Bilbo.”

“Thorin!” Bilbo ran over to him and was pulled into his arms.

“How long do you need to be here?”

“The police says I can leave at any time and they’ll call me in tomorrow,” Bilbo mumbled into his shirt.

“Stay with me tonight?”

Bilbo nodded squeezing Thorin’s shirt. He lead him to the car sitting him in the passenger seat and closing the door before walking to the other side of the car and getting inside. They pulled off and drove to Thorin’s house. Bilbo having managed to fall asleep in the car by the time Thorin pulled into the driveway. Thorin tried to carry him out without waking him up, but Bilbo had been jostled awake as soon as he shut the car door behind him. He insisted upon walking himself so Thorin regretfully obliged.

They walked by Frerin passed out on the couch and Thorin went in to turn off the TV before rejoining Bilbo in the hall. He walked him back to his room and got Bilbo settled into bed. Pressing a kiss against his forehead he muttered a quick goodnight. Bilbo reached out grabbing a hold of his hand before he could stand pulling him further into the bed.

“There’s another room I could sleep in Bilbo,” Thorin said wrapping his arms around his waist.

“I know. Pull the blanket up, it’s cold.”

Thorin chuckled pulling the blanket up to his shoulders. Bilbo leaned forward pressing his face into his chest and sighing.

“Isn’t quite how I imagined us spending our first night together,” he mumbled.

“Although I would prefer the circumstances to be different, I cannot say that I don’t like how you fit so well against me,” Thorin had one arm under the pillows and his other arm over Bilbo’s waist under the blankets.

“Oh, I just realized that I don’t have any clothes to wear.”

“You can borrow some of mine.”

“Yes, because we’re almost the exact same size,” he said smiling.

“You’re not that small Bilbo.”

“You’re right, I’m not. You’re just freakishly large.”

“Well I’m not going to deny that,” he said in a husky voice.

Bilbo shivered pressing his hands against Thorin’s chest. Thorin craned his neck down so he could rub his face in Bilbo’s curls. He rubbed a hand up and down the smaller man’s back until he fell asleep. Thorin stayed awake a little longer a hundred thoughts running through his head. He didn’t want to find out why Azog wanted Bilbo, he just wanted that man 6 feet under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Age Masterlist  
> Thorin 28  
> Bilbo 20  
> Dwalin 31  
> Ori 25  
> Bofur 26  
> Nori 34  
> Dori 49  
> Dis 20  
> Frerin 24  
> Azog 32  
> Smaug 64  
> Gandalf 53  
> Fili 4  
> Kili 2 1/2


	13. Morning Routine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I didn't update this yesterday so the 2 chapters I'm posting today will meet a 2k minimum word requirement unlike my regular 1k word requirement. Enjoy.

When Bilbo woke up the next morning it was to an empty bed so he wrapped as many blankets around him as he could curling into the warmth. He started to doze off again until he heard a toilet flush and water pouring from a sink. He cracked open one eye in time to see Thorin leaving the bathroom very shirtless.

Holy shit that man was a wall of muscle. The only part of him being soft was the small pudge of his stomach. Bilbo felt like he could see every twitch in his arms and chest when he moved. Who said it was legal to let Thorin wear clothes? He’d have to do something about that. Oh and he wore such wonderful boxer briefs. The fabric of them clinging to every crevice as tightly as they could. Then Thorin rolled his shoulders and Bilbo closed his eyes tightly so as not to moan at the action. Definitely illegal for Thorin to wear clothes, unless it was very tight underwear.

Thorin looked over at Bilbo as he left the bathroom and smiled at the pile of blankets that were gathered up around him. He could faintly see the bundle rising and dropping slowly. He must still be asleep. He started to go to his closet before stopping to roll his shoulders. He hadn’t done his exercises before the shower. He looked over at Bilbo’s sleeping form figuring the other man wouldn’t be up for a little while and pulled a long thin mat from the bottom of his closet.

Bilbo watched Thorin bend down to grab something from his closet laying it across the floor. The man sat on it pulling his knees up and then laying onto his back with his hands behind his head. Sit ups. He was doing sit ups. Counting under his breath he did this exercise until he got to the right number, Bilbo lost count at 33, and sat up again straightening his legs against the mat.

Thorin got to 45 sit ups and sat up to take a few deep breaths. With the back of his legs as flat against the mat as he could get them he bent forward to touch the toes of his feet. He reached far enough to grasp the top halves of his feet as he laid against his legs and counted out 30 seconds. He let go sitting up again and turning from side to side once before standing. Glancing at Bilbo’s sleeping form again he looked back down to the mat wondering if he could still do the splits. Being stuck in that yoga room with Dis for a few years did help in some ways.

Oh my god is he doing the fucking splits. He even had the gall to bend forward to touch his left foot before bending backward to touch his right. Bilbo very much enjoyed his bending backwards. The hair on his chest going down his torso in a line that thinned out before starting to grow a thicker as they got to the waistband of his underwear. Bilbo had to hold back from squirming under the blanket. This man was going to kill him with sexual frustration and they hadn’t even slept together yet.

Thorin could feel the tension slip from his muscles as he did the few other yoga poses he remembered like the tree, or the forward fold, or the plough. Maybe he should start heading back to classes with Dis. He did usually feel physically better after them he thought holding the half shoulder stand pose. Thorin noticed the blankets moving out of the corner of his eye and slowly dropped the pose. Bilbo must be waking up. Standing from the mat he grabbed a t-shirt from the closet slipping it on.

Thorin was putting on clothes again. Well he guessed the show was over. Shedding some of the blankets he faked yawn as he sat up against the pillows. He turned to see Thorin partially into a pair of loose pajama pants. Thorin smiled at his tired look, but Bilbo’s eyes were locked on the outline of something very large in his underwear before the pajama pants came up to his hips.

“Is that a fucking cobra,” Bilbo said squinting.

Thorin looked shocked and opened his mouth to say something before closing it again. He did it a few times until he kept his mouth closed and his cheeks turned slightly dark. Bilbo realizing what he said bit his bottom lip turning away with equally red cheeks. What kind of question was that!?

“Breakfast?” Thorin supplied for a topic.

“Oh yes please.”

“Pancakes or waffles?”

“Pancakes.”

“Bacon or Sausage?”

“Bacon,” he answered gleefully.

“Eggs?”

“Sunny side up.”

“Juice?”

“Coffee.”

“Decaf?”

“Hell no.”

Thorin chuckled and said, “Anything else you require Master Baggins?”

“Hmm, Master Baggins. I like the sound of that. Perhaps a strip tease and a foot massage,” he said wiggling his toes under the blankets.

“Perhaps later,” he said winking.

“Oh wait! I’d like to shower first if that’s okay,” Bilbo reluctantly pushed the blankets off of him as he crawled out of bed.

“The shower’s a little…weird. Want me to show you how-“

“I think I can manage it, but I was going to ask about the topic of clothes.”

“Help yourself to whatever you can find. The only thing that isn’t clean are the clothes in the bin against the corner,” he said leaving Bilbo to himself.

Bilbo grabbed the first shirt from the closet he could see which was a flannel button up. He stopped at the long oak chesser drawer. Bilbo couldn’t just put his old underwear back on, and Thorin did say help himself. He pulled out each drawer until he found rows of neatly folded underwear in the left middle drawer. Boxer briefs, boxers, folded neatly either plain colors or different designs on them. He didn’t know Thorin liked Superman as he spotted the S logo over one of them.

“More like super cock,” Bilbo muttered still going through the underwear.

What is this? Bilbo lifted out a slip of dark red velvet and held it out. It was thong. It was a _red velvet_ thong. Thorin Durin owned a red velvet thong, and has probably worn it on several occasions. Bilbo rubbed the material feeling how soft it was inside and out. When did he wear this? Maybe it was for special occasions. Bilbo put it back where he found it, but dug a little deeper now his curiosity peaked. He leaned over opening the other drawer finding it full of folded shorts and thin pants. He pulled out a pair for him that had a drawstring and noticed in the back the corner of a box.

Looking to the door he slowly hefted the box from under the pile and sat it in his lap. It was a smooth black box with a latch opening on the front. It didn’t look like it needed a key so he just snapped the latch open and pulled up the top. Bilbo blushed closing the box as quietly as he could and resealing the latch. He shouldn’t be going through Thorin’s things like that, even if he found a container of, albeit well-kept, sex toys in his drawer. When he was putting it back though he noticed a bit of blue lace.

Well. In for a penny in for a pound. He pulled the lace out before putting the box in and setting everything to rights as he shut the drawer. Holding it up he saw they were very tiny, white and blue laced panties. Bilbo set them back down on his lap his entire face heating up at the idea. Thorin wearing such thin tiny panties around such strong hips. Why did he wear them? Did they make him feel nice? Were they comfortable? Did he have a kink?

Bilbo looked to the door again before taking the items he grabbed, shutting the underwear drawer, and heading into the bathroom for a fairly long shower.

Thorin had the coffee going and the pancake batter ready when Frerin walked in looking disheveled. He spared him a glance and then got back to pouring the batter in the pan.

“Making me pancakes?” Frerin yawned.

“You can make your own breakfast,” he replied.

“Oh so snippy in the morning. You turned off the telly last night. I was watching that.”

“You were dead asleep. You always fall asleep like that. I’m surprised your spine hasn’t gone into a natural hunch yet. You could be a monster in the next Disney movie.”

“Oh ha ha. At least I wasn’t bringing in any late night guests,” he said wiggling his eyebrows.

Thorin stopped mid-flip before turning the pancake over and grunted.

“I’m surprised you two were so quiet last night. The sexual tension just with your phone conversations was suffocating. Is he the quiet type? Or did you have to cover his mouth.”

“Bilbo’s house was broken into last night,” Thorin said cutting the mood.

Frerin went quiet at that. Thorin managed to make a few more pancakes before his brother piped up again.

“Is he still asleep?”

“Shower.”

“He’s taking an awfully long time. You didn’t do your morning stretches did you?”

“Does it matter whether or not I did.”

“You shouldn’t tease him like that Thorin.”

“He was asleep when I did them.”

“Are you sure?”

“….don’t you have somewhere to be?”

“Not for another hour,” Frerin said checking the clock on the wall.

Bilbo’s shower was short! The only reason for that being he could never get off when the shower spray was hitting him. Never knew why, it was just a thing. So he sat on the edge of the tub, feet still in the little puddles that hadn’t gone down the drain, one hand leaning against the edge as he jerked himself off with the other.

It was very inappropriate doing that kind of thing while he was a guest in someone else’s home, but it was his boyfriend’s home so it didn’t count right? His legs were spread wide as he gave himself quick short tugs along the shaft. His legs trembled a little, but he wasn’t sure how long it would take to get him off. He had to make it quick, however sometimes even when he was aroused it took a little longer to get things going.

Bilbo lifted his idle hand to his chest rubbing some of the water droplets on his skin over his nipple and pinching it as he quickened the pace of his strokes. He imagined strong hands stroking his sides and warm lips pressing against his neck. Did Thorin bite? Probably. He imagined Thorin sucked the skin too long enough to leave dark patches behind before moving lower down his chest.

He gasped as he let his thumb stay pressed to long against the head of his cock, precum leaking from the slit before going back to his quick tugs. He groaned biting his lip as he stopping pinching his nipples to reach down behind his balls pressing against the spot there. His strokes grew a little more hurried as he imagined Thorin leaving kisses along the inside of his thighs before dragging his tongue along his hip bones. Just always out of reach.

His cock was dripping now as he shivered feeling that coil tightening at his balls. His hand going up and down his entire shaft making sure to pass his palm over the head in a circle to spread the cum down to his balls. He thought of Thorin sucking him off playing with his balls in one hand and pressing against his hole with the other.

He panted feeling so very close to the edge. His toes curled against the cold porcelain of the tub. Almost there, almost-

“Bilbo?”

Bilbo put his fist in his mouth to keep from screaming as he came hard against his stomach. He panted trying to keep his breathing quiet as his legs trembled from the aftershocks. He heard a soft knocking before Thorin repeated his name from the other side of the door.

“Yes?” he answered trying not to sound breathless.

“Are you all right in there?”

“Just trying to find a blow dryer.”

Thorin rubbed his face. He did have a lot of stuff under the sink. How long had the young man been looking for it?

“I can get Frerin’s if you want?”

“Found it.”

“Okay well, breakfast is ready when you come out,” Thorin said pulling away from the door.

“Thank you. I’ll be out in a second.”

Thorin smiled at that as he headed back to the kitchen. Bilbo got up on wobbly legs wiping the cum off of him and balling the towel up put it into a small laundry basket. He looked under the sink spotting the blow dryer and continued the process of getting ready. He eyed the lace that was hanging out between the shirt and pants he’d borrowed with a small smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was fun to write seeing as how I havent written solo nsfw, but the next chapter i post tonight will be getting back to the plot. ;P  
> this was the lacy underwear Bilbo found http://img1.etsystatic.com/014/0/5383828/il_340x270.453220987_o6ve.jpg


	14. Origin Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at all this plot.

Bilbo sat at the island in the kitchen, the shirt he wore large enough to keep sagging down one of his shoulders. Thorin fought with himself to keep eye contact as he gave Bilbo his plate of eggs. He set several other plates on the table one with bacon and another with a large stack of pancakes. Frerin had joined them being nice enough to set out the condiments and the coffee.

Thorin watched Bilbo roll the sleeves of the shirt to his elbows so as not to get syrup on them as he ate his pancakes.

“Did you find everything okay?” he asked adding sugar to his coffee.

“Yes, besides the blow dryer.”

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s all right. Also borrowed some of your underwear if you don’t mind. Couldn’t just put my own back on,” Bilbo said with a wave.

Thorin held back a groan and instead asked, “Do they fit okay?”

“Just because I don’t have a boa constrictor in my pants-“

Thorin choked on his coffee and Frerin out right laughed.

“-doesn’t mean I can’t fit your underwear. They’re only a little loose,” Bilbo said shifting in his seat.

“I didn’t know you got to see Thorin’s ‘boa constricter’ Bilbo.”

Bilbo didn’t answer suddenly finding his bacon to be very interesting. They ate mostly in silence until the brothers started fighting over the last piece of bacon. Bilbo snatched it from the plate before they had started yelling and ate it himself closing his eyes in bliss at the taste.

“Bet you had the same face when you saw Thorin’s boa constrictor,” Frerin said.

Bilbo immediately starting choking on his food and Frerin looking triumphant in this small revenge. Thorin reached over patting him on the back and glaring at his brother as Bilbo caught his breath.

“So someone broke into your place last night?”

“Yes, but it wasn’t just one person. I heard 3 voices, but there could’ve been more.”

“Did you see them?” Thorin asked.

Bilbo shook his head as he answered, “After I woke up to the noise downstairs I went into the bathroom with my phone and hid under the sink until they were gone.”

“Wow. You are really small,” Frerin said pouring himself some more coffee.

“It comes in handy sometimes,” he said shrugging.

“Did you hear anything they said?”

“It sounded like they were looking for someone. One of them asked if it was the right house and another confirmed it. Then two of them had a scuffle throwing one of them down the stairs from my room. After that a different voice asked if they should call their boss. The one still in my room told him that the boss would figure it out when they didn’t come back with the person they were looking for. I heard him go down the stairs and leave. It was quiet and I waited a little while to make sure they were gone before I called the police.”

“Azog,” Thorin said.

“You think they- he was after me?”

“I know he was.”

“Why? What could I have possibly done? I’m no threat to anybody.”

“You’re a threat to me.”

“What? How!”

“Bilbo,” Thorin sighed taking one of Bilbo’s hands and rubbing the pads of his thumbs along his palm.

“Bilbo you have become very important to me. Azog wants to hurt me, not just physically, but mentally as well. Since I care about you he wants to use you against me, and he won’t hesitate to do the same for everyone I lo- care about.”

Bilbo caught the slip, but let it slide. Thorin had begun to look very tired as he explained it to him. Bilbo set his coffee aside and held Thorin’s hands squeezing them once and looking up at him from his lashes. Thorin smiled leaning down to press a soft kiss against his lips.

Frerin started gagging causing them both to pull away and glare at him.

“So what do we do?”

“I need you to finish filing the police report today. After that we can gather some of your things from your townhouse and you can either stay with me or Dis.”

“I think the answer is obvious for where I’m staying,” Bilbo said shuddering at the thought of watching FIli and Kili for more than a few hours.

“Frerin is going to be staying with Dis several days a week to make sure things don’t get too bad. Dis can take care of herself fine, but with Fili and Kili there and Viri away for a few more months it’s always better to be safe than sorry. Are you okay with the idea you may be by yourself here some days?”

“Maybe if I could use a gun,” Bilbo laughed.

The brothers shared a look before turning to Bilbo. Bilbo knew that look. It was the one Fili and Kili gave each other before they agreed to do something crazy. His eyes darted from Frerin to Thorin as he smiled nervously.

 

“That’s actually a good idea,” Frerin said.

 

* * *

 

Bilbo had no idea how he ended up holding a Springfield XD Sub-Compact in a shooting range, but he was terrified none the less. When he said he wanted to use a gun he was only kidding! Guys like him didn’t carry guns. They avoided guns as much as they could. I mean yeah Bilbo could be threatening if he wanted to. He remembered threatening an angry ex with a heavy butcher knife a few years back, and then there was that time where he nearly took a hammer to one of Bofur’s “friends” for not leaving the man’s apartment but those times were different! He felt the violence was warranted and it worked because neither of the men had come back since.

After Bilbo had talked to the police they had gone to his townhouse as promised getting as much as they could. Frerin opted to stay home saying he needed to look into some things. Thorin simply nodded and they left him be. Bilbo was loathe to leave some of his leisure books only having room for the ones required for class. When he went into his room he found his laptop had been broken and Thorin said he could borrow his until a new one came in the mail. Bilbo had changed into some clothes that actually fit while Thorin stayed downstairs looking over the place trying to find something the police hadn’t.

When Bilbo came back downstairs, suitcase in one hand and backpack slung over his back, they left. Bilbo thought they were going to drop his stuff off at Thorin's place and maybe just relax, but here he was holding a gun and aiming at the paper target at the far end of the wall.

“Try to aim for the ring just above the dot in the middle,” Thorin said standing a few feet behind him.

Bilbo fired off a couple shots. When he opened his eyes he saw the corner of the paper was torn and the other bullet had gone further off into the wall missing the paper completely.

“Why did you close your eyes?”

“I did not close my eyes,” he lied.

“You’re that bad of a shot?”

“…okay maybe I did close my eyes, but I don’t like guns!”

“You said you wanted to use one.”

“It was a joke! Do you not know what those are?”

“Probably still a good idea you learn how to use one. Just in case.”

“Just in case what?”

“Try aiming for the ring above the dot in the middle again, and this time don’t close your eyes,” Thorin said avoiding the question.

Bilbo held the gun up again and this time before he pulled let out a deep breath. The bullet went through where the shoulder would be.

“Getting better already.”

Bilbo did get better. He still couldn’t hit the dot in the middle, but Thorin let him know that any shot to the torso was a good shot. They left the range and headed back to Thorin’s place. Bilbo had to send some emails out to his teachers, and Thorin unfortunately had to go into work. The older man really wanted to skip, but if Azog was watching him, as he knew he was, he couldn’t fail to show up in the office after the break in. It would be too obvious where Bilbo was. Frerin promised to keep him safe, and against his better judgment he took his word.

Bilbo started settling his stuff into Thorin’s room when he left. He didn’t have that many things to settle in, but he managed to find a few empty drawers to put his clothes in. He also squeezed in some of his jackets into the closet, and set several pairs of his shoes at the bottom of it. Bilbo finally noticed that Thorin had left the mat he was stretching on out, so he rolled it up as best he could and set it in the closet as well.

“Where is that man’s laptop?” he asked looking around the bed.

“In his study,” Frerin chirped from the doorway.

Bilbo jumped and turned around to huff at him.

“Thorin really likes you,” he said stepping into the room.

“Really?” Bilbo said shrinking back some.

“Yeah. Since Azog came after you after he got Ori even he must be able to tell how smitten Thorin is. Kind of a shitty way to find out he’s in love with you, but what can you do,” he said shrugging.

“He’s in love with me? He said that,” Bilbo whispered touching his lips.

“Well…no, but he tends to be better with actions than words. Always has been.”

They talked a little more as Frerin showed him where Thorin’s study was, and Bilbo gasped at the sight. He felt like they pulled the room out of a movie. The furniture was dark walnut and red chestnut wood. The computer desk had different shelves stacked a top it with different books and files. A swivel chair sitting in front the desk. Pictures hung up over the room of family members and friends, and a few portraits hung on the walls where they could fit. There was a holder with old candles sitting on the wall next to the door and a comfy armchair in the corner. A gold and blue rug covered the wood paneling on the floor and Bilbo indulged in it by digging his toes in.

“It’s so cozy,” he said walking to the armchair.

“It was our moms.”

“Oh…well she had lovely taste.”

Frerin gave him a weak smile and got Thorin’s laptop from the desk. He told Bilbo to use the guest sign-in on it since there wasn’t a password required for that account. They went into the living room and Frerin walked him through what to look for in getting a new laptop. Bilbo noticed the man really knew what he was talking about and made sure to take his advice to heart.

“I know this is going to be really rude, but you said that room was your mom's, and Thorin doesn't really talk about her. I mean I've heard a few things about your dad, and you and Dis, and that you all moved around a lot, but he's usually very uh I guess the best way would be to say stone faced on the topic. I mean if it's sensitive I wouldn't want to push for information or anything I was just curious.”

“It’s fine. Really. I was too young to understand exactly what was going on. I don't really remember much of what happened. What I know is little snippets of the funeral and what Thorin and my dad told me. Thrain, our father, had gotten involved with the wrong kind of people. The most I can say is that she got caught in the crossfire in a sense…Thorin was the only one who saw what happened, but the situation could've turned out worse than it had.”

Bilbo put a hand to his lips and looked to the floor. How young had Thorin been?

“Our dad quickly dropped us all off the radar after that, but we began to cope. Dis, well, she didn’t know mom because she was 1 when it happened, but Thorin says she acts just like her. Dad agrees.”

They sat scrolling through a few more pages on amazon before Frerin asked, “What about you?”

“My parents got into a bad car crash. A truck slipped on a patch of ice and rammed them in the side. Dad made it to the hospital, but he didn’t survive the procedure. The truck hit my mom’s side so she died instantly.”

Bilbo had been with his grandparents at the time and they were on their way to pick him up. He never mentioned that part of the story. He spent a long time trying to get rid of the guilt. It still gnawed away at him sometimes.

“Who took you in?”

“A lot of my family was too poor or had enough kids on their own. If my dad’s business partner Smaug hadn’t adopted me I don’t know where I’d be right now.”

“Did you say Smaug? As in owner of Dale Smaug?”

“…yes. I know I should tell Thorin, but Uncle Smaug is retiring so it’s not really that big of a deal.”

“Bilbo!”

“What?”

“Azog hates Smaug.”

“Oh no.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo means well he really does. Next 2 chapters will be up tomorrow as regularly scheduled unless I get more inspiration tonight.


	15. Well...fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE AN EXPLANATION  
> Originally this chapter started out as something else entirely, but I realized that I'd reached the 15th chapter where I promised myself I'd have a sex chapter up. Which is why I had to erase what I had written and start over. However I haven't actually written any smut out before, and no I don't count what I wrote in the 6th grade as smut so I was doing research all day yesterday. Therefore I spent most of the day I wasn't in class yesterday to do research on proper/safe anal sex.  
> Enjoy.

Thorin sat in the tub drumming his fingers along the edge of it as the water filled. This was the most annoying part about preparation. Also not the most pleasant, but it was better to deal with it now then to fuss about clean up later. He wondered if Bilbo was doing the same thing. A little embarrassing if he was, because then the issue would be who’s doing what, but he pushed that to the back of his mind for the moment.

* * *

Bilbo flushed the toilet and set the device inside the sink washing it and his hands. He didn’t remember it taking that long, but that’s because he hadn’t needed to do it in a while. After everything was clean he put the shower shot back into the furthest part of his suitcase buried under as many clothes as possible. He didn’t want anyone to see that sitting on top of his things. He had an hour to kill before Thorin got back so he messed around on the laptop occupying himself with his email and gaming websites.

* * *

 

If Thorin checked in and out of a hotel the same day who was to know besides his credit card company and him. He called Dwalin on the way to the pharmacy to see how Ori was doing.

“The doctor’s said he should be awake in a few days. They managed to replace the blood he lost with enough transfusions.”

“That’s good. Didn’t you say Ori has some odd blood type?”

“Not odd, just uncommon. Found a donor at the last minute. It’s been stressful.”

“Well it’s good they found a willing donor,” Thorin said as he parked the car.

“…you found and paid a donor didn’t you.”

“No idea what you’re talking about,” he lied.

“How much Thorin?”

“As much as our friendship is worth Dwalin.”

“How did you even get access to files to find someone who would donate? Isn’t that private medical information?”

“Frerin wouldn’t know what the word private meant if it dropped an anvil on his head,” he said nodding to the greeter as he went inside.

“Wait you called for somethin else didn’t you?”

“Of course not,” he started to scan the aisles.

“Is that so?”

“Yes. I just called to check in.”

“All right then. Well I guess I’ll be hangin up now, since you’re all caught up on what’s goin on and everything.”

“Good,” Thorin said staring at the selection.

“Great.”

“Wait.”

“Ha! I knew it, you were callin fer something.”

Thorin sighed rubbing a hand across his face as he asked, “What should I get?”

“You know you could always ask yer siblings or you know look in a book.”

“Dwalin I’m confiding in you as a friend, and as the person responsible for your husband making a full recovery.”

“Reckon you would’ve done the other thing whether or not you needed to ask me this.”

“Dwalin.”

“Fine fine. It really depends on what you like.”

 

* * *

 

Bilbo held the box of condoms in his hands. One left? Really! He didn’t remember using them up so quickly. Then again he also didn’t remember the last time he bought any, so it would make sense that he’s run out. How in the world could he have a full bottle of lube, but run out of condoms! Maybe he should go to the store. Maybe he should call Thorin? No, absolutely not. Then again he wasn’t really trying to make it a surprise right?

“Ugh!” Bilbo flopped over onto the bed.

He inhaled deeply Thorin’s scent still in the blankets before rolling onto his back. Did Thorin already have condoms? He had only glanced in that black box hidden by all the trousers. Getting up from the bed he went over to the drawer opening it and pulling the box out unfolding a few of the pants in the process. He took a deep breath and unclasped the front opening it again.

“Oh my…”

 

* * *

 

Thorin finally decided on the right condoms to get. He was going to get the ribbed ones, but not everyone likes those and he wasn’t sure what Bilbo even enjoyed. After purchasing the condoms and some lubrication he got back into his car and pressed his head against the steering wheel. How would he even approach this kind of situation? Would he just pluck Bilbo from where ever he was and take it from there…maybe that’s too caveman-ish. Seduce him at the dinner table? Frerin was staying with Dis tonight, so it wouldn’t be uncalled for. Fuck it, he was gonna wing it. He finally pulled out of the parking lot to head towards his house.

 

* * *

 

Bilbo only had one condom left and he wondered if he was using it wisely, but at this point he didn’t care much. He’d left the box to sit on the bedside table as he laid back on the bed with him dragging one of the toys in and out of his hole. He’d found an odd purlple one with thick ribs on it and decided that maybe he should try stretching himself out before Thorin got there. First he had gotten onto the bed keeping his shirt on but dropping the sleep pants onto the side. After propping the pillows onto the pile he got to work. He made sure to use very much of the lubrication to slick his fingers first. It took him a few tries and 10 minutes, but he calmed down and breathed deeply enough where he could settle the fingers in without resistance.

Bilbo being the type to not take chances with sanitation put his last condom over the toy and put more lube onto it. He then shifted onto his back bending his knees so his feet stayed planted against the bed as he put the toy in. He breath quickened as it went past his entrance and deeper into his ass. Once he got it settled into to where the stopper sat against his hole he tried clenching. He groaned toes having dub into the blanket at the sensation.

He may have gotten a little carried away with the preparation, but it felt too good to stop. He panted as he kept dragging the thick toy in and out sometimes changing the pace to have the tip dragging against his prostate gland. The pre-cum from his cock was coming out in thick globs staining his shirt.

 

* * *

 

When Thorin pulled into the driveway he gathered his briefcase from the back seat and took his bag from the pharmacy out of the passenger’s side. He came into the house breathing in deeply the scent of hot food and sighed. Bilbo had been cooking. He wandered into the kitchen seeing the table set, a pot roast on the stove, but no Bilbo.

That’s strange.

“Bilbo?” Thorin called out.

 

* * *

 

“Fuck!” Bilbo thought. He stopped his ministrations pulling the toy back out and nearly throwing himself off the bed to put on clothes. Thorin was early. He looked at the clock as he took off his shirt. Thorin was not early. If anything Thorin was late! He snagged a t-shirt hanging from his suitcase throwing it on and was about to put on his sleeping pants until he noticed just how sweaty and dirty he was fuck.

“Bilbo?” Thorin asked again heading towards the bedroom.

Bilbo panicked looking around the room. The box was still open on the side table. The toy sat on the bed in a huge stain of lube and he didn’t even have a few minutes to look presentable. He forgoed the pants instead running to the door and pressing his back against it.

“Give me a minute!” he said as Thorin tried the doorknob.

“Are you all right? You sound…off,” Thorin said suspicious.

Bilbo immediately got an idea and took a deep breath to say, “I need you to give me exactly one minute. Then you can come in.”

“Okay?”

“In for a penny in for a pound,” he thought walking back over to the bed.

He took the t-shirt off and got back into his spot which was a little cold, but he got over it. He then grabbed the toy and laid back against the pillows, knees up, feet planted against the bed pushing the toy back inside. This time he groaned loudly at the returning sensation. Thorin opened the door at the sound and he heard a sharp intake of breath.

“Th-that wasn’t a minute,” Bilbo said.

Thorin dropped his things at the door in his rush over to Bilbo pulling his face into his hands and kissing him hard. Bilbo moaned against his lips as he gripped the man’s jacket trying to pull it off his shoulders. Thorin let go of him chewing on his lip as he tossed the jacket off. Bilbo helped him unbutton his shirt as he sucked his tongue into his mouth. Thorin kicked his shoes off finally climbing onto the bed and tracing his hands along Bilbo’s sides.

“Give me a minute you say,” he grunted pressing the pads of his fingers into soft skin.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” Thorin continued as he started pressing kisses into Bilbo’s neck.

Bilbo was trying to get Thorin’s belt open and once he got the clasp loose he tugged it out tossing it as far away as possible. Thorin began biting his neck sucking the skin against his collar bone before working his way up his neck to nibble his ear. Bilbo cursed fumbling with the buttons on his pants until Thorin reached down to settle his hands. They unbuttoned them and Thorin shoved them down having to kick them off the rest of the way.

“Finally get to see the anaconda you’ve been hiding,” Bilbo panted smiling.

“Stop naming it,” he hissed out as Bilbo palmed against his dick.

Thorin pulled Bilbo’s body down and lifted his legs up. Bilbo squeaked at the man handling until he settled to wrap his legs around his waist. Thorin bent down kissing his collar bones and going down to stop at his nipples.

“Cold?” he asked hit hot breath spreading over his chest.

Bilbo slapped his back at the comment making him laugh before he took one of his nipples into his mouth and sucked. Hard. Bilbo arched at that gripping onto Thorin’s hair. Thorin swirled his tongue around the bud slurping and sucking until it was pebbled and erect. He bent over doing the same treatment to the other one as Bilbo’s legs shuddered around his waist. He thumbed one nipple as he bathed the other one with his tongue. Bilbo was flushed from the tips of his ears to the bottom of his neck as he struggled to catch his breath.

Thorin finally done with his teasing slipped further down his body dragging his tongue in a random pattern until he got to Bilbo’s cock. He took him in hand breathing against the tip before going over to Bilbo’s hip kissing the skin there. The backs of Bilbo’s knees resting on Thorin’s shoulders as he continued to press kisses into the skin coming close to his cock but not there.

“Stop teasing!”

“All right.” He said before taking him in his mouth.

Bilbo shouted as Thorin slowly to him down to the hilt. He held himself there his nose nestled against brown curls breathing in the musk before swallowing around him. He could hear Bilbo sputtering above him and he pulled back when he felt tears come to his eyes. Thorin pulled off dragging his tongue over the head and pressing the tip into the slit. He then sucked the head of Bilbo’s cock back into his mouth letting the pre-cum lave over his tongue. Bilbo had his hands back in the older man’s hair pulling on it hair. Thorin groaned at the abuse as he took Bilbo back into his throat again. He hummed loudly.

Bilbo’s legs where shaking violently as he trapped Thorin’s head between his thighs trying to hold on. The tightening coil in his balls become too much as he came hard against the back of Thorin’s throat. He could hear Thorin choking as he pulled back and a few more shots of cum stained his beard. Bilbo’s legs dropped against the mattress as his body shuddered from the aftershocks. Thorin sat up and made eye contact with Bilbo as he wiped the cum off his face and licked it from his fingers.

“Fuck,” he panted.

“That’s the idea yes,” Thorin said smugly.

He thumbed the stopper of the toy in Bilbo’s ass and pulled it out setting it aside. He saw the condom on it, but didn’t question it. No time to question it. He reached down pulling off his underwear and his cock stood hard and heavy against his stomach. He heard a quiet curse and smiled crawling back over Bilbo. Leaning down he pressed soft kisses against his lips, his cheeks, one against his nose and another against his forehead.

“Do you have any condoms?” Bilbo asked.

Thorin stopped and threw his head back to groan before getting out of bed. Never leave the condoms too far from the bed. He took the box out and the lube before going back over to the bed and setting them within reach on the sheets. Bilbo had sat up against the pillows again and started tracing his fingers over Thorin’s chest.

“All this hair. You’re like a Viking,” he murmured.

“Is that a compliment?”

“If not would you take wall of muscle that I want to drag my tongue over as a compliment?”

Thorin groaned and pressed Bilbo back into the pillows. Thorin flicked his tongue in and out of his mouth as Bilbo gripped his shoulders. The kiss was just as heated but slower. Bilbo hands wandered down Thorin’s chest and his fingers got tangled in the thick curls nestled above his cock. Thorin thrusted his hips against Bilbo’s hand just as his cock was gripped firmly. He licked against his mouth when Bilbo started stroking. Thorin flinched and Bilbo mumbled an apology grabbing the lube from the side of the bed and pouring some into his hands. He started pumping his cock again making the older man moan into his mouth.

Thorin pulled away to ask, “How do you want to do this?”

Bilbo’s pace faltered before he went back to stroking Thorin’s cock.

“Um, I kind of assumed you’d top. Did you want it the other way?”

“Doesn’t really matter to me. I’m flexible.”

“Mmmm I know. Want to do the splits on my face next time,” Bilbo said speeding up his strokes.

“You were awake?” he snorted.

“Oh yes,” Bilbo finally let go of his cock.

He reached over grabbing the condom box and pulled one out of it’s packaging.

“Sure you got the right size?”

“Yes I’m sure.”

“Wonderful because these are much too big for me.”

Bilbo unwrapped the condom then placed it over Thorin’s cock pinching the top of the plastic as he rolled it down to his balls. He grabbed the lube pouring more of it over Thorin’s cock and then into his hand. He rubbed it against his palm warming it up before reaching down and pressing his fingers against his hole.

“Are you going to do everything?”

“I don’t see you stopping me,” Bilbo said smiling as he pressed a finger in.

Thorin quickly went about slicking his fingers and pressing one alongside Bilbo’s. Bilbo moaned and wiggled his finger alongside Thorin’s his cock twitching at the stimulation. Bilbo pulled his finger out letting Thorin take over from there. His fingers were so thick. As Thorin pressed another finger inside Bilbo occupied himself by pressing kisses along Thorin’s neck. He suck along the column of his neck and ran his hands mussing up the combed back hair.

Bilbo took note whenever Thorin’s fingers would press in a little harder or there was a sharp intake of breath. His cock had grown hard again by the time Thorin inserted a third finger. Bilbo left another hickey next to his adam’s apple just as Thorin pulled his fingers out.

“Ready?”

“Mmhm.”

Bilbo spread his legs as wide as he could and Thorin lined himself up. Holding onto the base of his cock he started pressing in against the muscle. Bilbo’s ass sucked his cock in greedily and Thorin ‘s chest was heaving by the time he was balls deep in. Bilbo’s chest was tight as he breathed quickly. Thorin was so thick. He didn’t think he’d had anything that deep in him before.

Thorin laid hovering above him. They’d managed to settle against the mattress again Bilbo laying on his back and Thorin propped up on his arms laying on either side of Bilbo’s head. Bilbo wrapped his legs around Thorin’s waist again and clenched down around him. Thorin whined rolling his hips into him. Bilbo’s breath hitched and he clenched down again.

“Move.”

Thorin took his word and started to thrust shallowly. Bilbo’s cock deflated some and he reached down to bring it back up. Thorin grunted the sweat sliding down his back as he struggled not to cum so soon. Bilbo was so tight, so hot he fit around him perfectly. Thorin picked up the pace a little at Bilbo’s request and pressed his face into Bilbo’s neck.

“I’m not gonna break,” Bilbo huffed.

Thorin pressed another kiss against his neck as he started thrusting in earnest. He wasn’t sure how much longer he was going to last. How long had they been at this and Thorin hadn’t come once yet. Thorin felt a slippery finger probe at his hole before slipping in past the first knuckle. His hips jerked hard and Bilbo shouted into his ear.

Bilbo figuring out how to get what he wanted put his finger deeper into Thorin’s ass. Thorin moaned loudly his hips stuttering before pumping harder against Bilbo’s ass. He could hear Thorin’s balls slap against his ass. Placing one hand against Thorin’s shoulder blade and tightening his legs around his waist he wiggled his finger trying to find his prostrate.

The headboard of the bed kept banging against the wall in time with Thorin’s thrusts. Bilbo’s cock was dripping between their stomachs as Thorin grunted against his ear. Bilbo’s finger stayed deep in his ass and pressed against his prostate with every push. Bilbo was babbling nonsense as he got closer and closer to tipping off.

Bilbo clenched around Thorin again making him shout and push hard into his ass his legs shaking as he came. Bilbo reached between them stroking himself a few times and came hard against their stomachs. He pulled his finger out of Thorin’s twitching hole and made a small sound of protest as Thorin’s weight sat on top of him. He nudged his side prompting him to roll over and they laid there catching their breath and staring at the ceiling.

“On a scale of one to ten. One being never again and ten being I can’t walk after that.”

“…..7.” Bilbo answered.

“7?”

“You were too gentle at the beginning. If I can get what I had at the end when it starts then you’ll likely have a strong 9.”

“Duly noted.”

Thorin got up walking into the bathroom to get a wet towel. He came back, cleaned them off and tossed the cloth into the laundry bin. Bilbo was going to ask about the sheets but was too busy being swept into very strong arms. He sighed nuzzling his face into Thorin’s chest as they enjoyed the afterglow.

“Thorin?”

“Hmm?”

“shud tell mu my unscle gum,” he mumbled against his chest.

“What?”

“Uh.. I said I should probably tell you my uncle is Smaug.”

Thorin closed his eyes and breathed out slowly before saying a resolute, “Fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What Thorin and Bilbo were doing at the beginning is something called a deep cleanse. You get a shower spotter, hook it up to a shower that has easy going pressure, get the water to a cozy 37 degrees and start the process of cleaning yourself out before intercourse. Believe it or not you cannot just hop into anal sex unprepared unless you want a very brown clean up afterwords.
> 
> If you plan on having anal sex do your research! Real sex is nothing like porn and that's mostly because when you make porn everything is clean and ready to go before the camera starts rolling. That and they edit out all the weird sounds, but I digress.


	16. He's Awake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, I'm back to updating regularly now. Expect another chapter tonight as we slowly come to the end.

Dwalin sat in the hospital chair next to Ori’s bed, his small hand being cradled gently with Dwalin’s. The nurse was nice enough to allow him to connect his DVD player so that they could watch movies. Well, at least so Dwalin could watch them until Ori woke up. Nori slept on a makeshift bed made of three of the tiny chairs taking Dori’s place since he had to teach that day. Dwalin sighed as he sat their watching their wedding video again.

The whole affair was a disaster. Not the wedding itself, but the events leading up to it. Dwalin’s constant job transitioning and Ori having to be at the oddest places had pushed the ceremony date back a couple years. To say that Ori grew more disappointed and anxious as time grew on would’ve been an understatement. Their arguments had gotten so out of hand that Ori refused to stay in their apartment together for months at a time living with his brothers until the couple had calmed down.

He couldn’t remember what they had even argued about, but Ori could probably recite the topics backwards if he asked…If he was awake. Dwalin looked at his sleeping form and sighed rubbing a thumb along his hand. They’d finally taken the breathing tubes out and his chest rose and fell slowly of his own accord. His eyes were still closed. He looked so small lying in bed like that, well, smaller than normal. Dwalin turned back to the television in time to see Ori walking down the aisle. He then looked at himself. Had he really looked like that when it was happening? So awestruck?

When he finally reached him under the flowery arch Dori had whispered something to Dwalin before taking his spot by his brother’s side. He remembered the exact words too.

_“Hurt him and you’re dead.”_

He huffed at that now, but held Ori’s hand a little tighter. It was his fault Ori had gotten in here. His past had caught up to them now, and he wasn’t sure how to stop it. Three bullet wounds in the torso as he managed to wrestle the gun away from the shooter. Dwalin knew whether or not the gun man had been sent by Azog, Ori would’ve done the same thing. He loved those children like they were his own. Ah, now that he thought of it, he did remember that being one of the things they argued about.

He wouldn’t have made a good father. Still is pretty sure he won’t, but Ori just keeps insisting. The younger man didn’t bring it up again after they had gotten married, and Dwalin knew the topic would come up again. He looked up at the monitor as he watched them say their vows.

_“Ori. I’ve never been very good with words, but when you told me we’d be writing our own vows I made sure to grab a good dictionary first.”_

_There was a small burst of laughter at that before he continued. Ori was glowing._

_“You are absolutely everything to me. You never came to me as a half meeting their other half, but as a beautiful whole bringing so much light with you. So may we care for each other in sickness and health, for better or for worse, because I doubt anyone will ever have me as well as you.”_

_Ori grinned as he looked at their clasped hands before speaking, “Dwalin, honestly you’ve always been about as subtle as a moose in a grocery store.”_

_More laughter and a few people started nodding in the audience._

_“When you asked me to marry you at first I was a little offended. There wasn’t any fancy dinner, or midnight walk through the park, or even so much as a foot massage…but I look back on it, every day, and think of us just sitting on that couch watching bad movies before you clumsily slipped the ring on my finger. It was perfect really. So may we care for each other in sickness and health, for better or for worse, because I doubt anyone will ever have me as well as you.”_

“Oh, this is my favourite part,” said a small voice behind him.

Dwalin turned around and nearly wanted to cry. Ori was weakly trying to prop sit up.. Dwalin helped him with a hand on his back easing him up so he could lay propped against the pile of pillows. Ori was quietly watching the video with heavy lidded eyes and a small smile as he squeezed Dwalin’s hand as tightly as he could. Dwalin couldn’t take his eyes off of him even when he heard the applause on the video.

“You don’t kiss me like that as often. You sho-“

Dwalin had taken Ori’s face in his hands kissing him with everything he could. He could faintly hear the beeps on the heart monitor speed up until he pulled away. Ori wiped away the tears that had spilled from his cheeks and pressed their foreheads together. Of course Nori had chosen that time to wake up, and being the “responsible one” called the doctor. Doctor Gandalf had come in doing whatever he did, poking and prodding at Ori, asking him questions, and then giving him his diagnosis.

When he left Ori had gone back to lying against the pillows instead of sitting up as he had been.

“Was anyone hurt?” he asked.

“There was a guard who was at the front when the man entered the main hallway, He saw the gun, but was shot down first. Not sure what happened to him, I didn’t keep up with it,” Nori answered.

“Did they say his name?”

“Uh, I think it might’ve been Jerry or something.”

“Oh poor Gerald. His son is in Haldin’s class. He was probably going to drop in…”

“They caught him. The shooter I mean,” Dwalin supplied.

“I’d hoped they should. All the trouble I went through,” he huffed.

Dwalin’s laugh was shakey as he lifted Ori’s hands to his mouth pressing a soft kiss against his fingers.

“What business did he have shooting up an elementary school? How entitled do you have to be to hurt innocent children,” Nori had his arms crossed as he leaned back in his chair.

“What?! Children were hurt!” Ori had tried sitting up now but Dwalin had moved his hands onto his shoulders to keep him from moving too much.

“What? No, of course not. I was just saying they must be traumatized. The only people who got hurt were you and the security guard.”

Ori visibly relaxed and Dwalin glared at the older brother for riling him up in the first place. They’d fallen into light conversation. Dwalin had told him one of his colleagues came in while he was still asleep telling him about how his students missed him. Ori giggled at the thought of his students making all sorts of things to help him get better.

Dwalin wondered if he should tell him about his old job, about Azog, about everything, but he pushed those thoughts away. It wouldn’t do well to have him stressed as he was recovering. However he also knew that he definitely couldn’t keep it a secret from him anymore, especially if it put him in this kind of danger.

“May I speak to Ori alone for a little while?” he asked.

Nori looked like he was about to protest before Ori placed a hand over his giving him a soft smile. Nori deflated at that and sighed as he got up and left the room. When Nori shut the door behind him he heard an immediate shout of, “You used to be a what!?” Now would probably be a good time for him to get some coffee.

 

* * *

 

Bilbo laid in bed that morning his head resting against a very firm chest and sighed content. Thorin was running his fingers through his hair untangling some of the curls sending pleasant shivers down his spine. Breakfast had been eaten in bed and he couldn’t have felt more comfortable if he wanted to. Their legs were tangled together and the blanket had shifted to their waists keeping the heat in.

Thorin on the other hand was tense. He tried to relax running his hands through Bilbo’s hair even pressing a kiss against the soft curls, but his thoughts ran a million miles a minute. After Bilbo fell asleep last night he called his brother and several of his old tags to see what was going on. Azog hadn’t moved. He had someone check on Smaug, but the old man fine and resolutely staying out of sight. He was hoping Azog was dumb enough not to search for a connection between the young man and the old retiree. Frerin said he’d call as soon as something seemed amiss, and the conversation ended at that.

“What are you thinking about?” Bilbo asked trailing his fingers through his chest hair.

“Nothing.”

“Hm. You’re lying,” he had reached up to press a kiss against his adam’s apple.

“Am not.” Thorin wrapped his arms around his waist pulling him to lie on top. Bilbo leaned down taking his bottom lip between his teeth before giving it a light kiss. Thorin leaned up tilting his head so their lips slotted together and Bilbo smiled into it.

When they pulled apart Bilbo pecked his nose with another kiss before saying, “Are so.”

“Don’t you have classes?”

“I’ve been traumatized by a group of strange men breaking into my house, and my friends have been sending me the notes. This is the last day I’m missing though.”

“Did the police ever call back?” he asked even though he already knew the answer.

“They said they didn’t have any leads, but that I should probably stay away from my home for a couple more weeks to be sure they didn’t come for me specifically.”

“Sounds like half-assed detective work.”

“What can you do,” he answered shrugging.

Eventually they’d gotten up and got dressed. Bilbo still had a lot of classwork to get done, and his Latin teacher would kill him had he not studied at least one the things that was mailed out. Thorin had taken the week off. He hadn’t taken any vacation days since he started working, so it was well earned he supposed. Even though it wasn’t under the best circumstances why he was taking them. They sat on one of the couches in the living room Bilbo attempting to teach Thorin some words and phrases.

“How can you pronounce everything fine, but not know a single word of it?”

“I never said I didn’t know any latin,” Thorin huffed.

“Really what do you know?”

“Crux sancta sit mihi lux Non draco sit mihi dux Vade retro satana Numquam suade mihi vana Sunt mala quae libas Ipse venena bibas.”

“…you know how to exorcise a demon.”

Thorin shrugged as he said, “Never know when it could come in handy.”

“You know what else you’ll never know what could come in handy? Saying hello, or knowing how to ask where the bathroom is. You know, things you’ll actually use.”

The front door burst open just as Thorin’s phone rang. He snatched Bilbo from his seat hearing bullets smattering the walls. They ducked behind the couch as heavy footfalls quickly approached the living room. Bilbo was plastered against the back of the couch while Thorin felt along the floor. He finally found the gap and flipped open the panel flipping the rug out of the way.

Grabbing Bilbo’s arm he ushered him down the dark passageway closing the panel himself just as the footsteps entered the living room. The rug had fallen back into place and his phone had stopped ringing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliff hanger~ hanging from a cliff! And that's why he's called cliff hanger!  
> Side note this is what Thorin is saying in latin not sure if it's accurate but I did just google search it:  
> Crux sancta sit mihi lux - the Holy Cross shall be my light  
> Non draco sit mihi dux - no Dragon shall be my leader  
> Vade retro satana - go back, Satan  
> Numquam suade mihi vana - Never persuade me with falsehoods  
> Sunt mala quae libas - Evil things you offer me,  
> Ipse venena bibas - may you drink the poisons yourself!


	17. Drama Intensifies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so short, but it's late and I have to get up at 5am tomorrow! Hopefully I won't be too tired from the convention to update the last 3 chapters in one day. Wow!

Bilbo was hyperventilating but Thorin didn’t have time to deal with it now. He turned on the light in the basement and hurried up the stairs as quietly as he could. He quickly latched and locked it shut before heading down to the bottom. Bilbo was on the ground now knees hugged tightly to his chest as he tried to breathe. Thorin bent down next to him and placed his hands on his shoulders to get his attention. Bilbo looked up in time for Thorin to slap him.

“Wh-wha?”

“This is scary, and that’s understandable, but I need you to breathe. I need you to stand on your feet, and I really need you to grab a gun.”

“Thorin! What’s happening?”

Thorin had gotten Bilbo to his albeit shaky feet and went over to one of the covered stands.

“Well, from what I can tell, there are people upstairs with guns.” He took of the cloth. “They are shooting the guns.” He grabbed a Remington 870 Shotgun. “And they probably want to kill us.”

More gunshots rang above them as the shotgun was shoved into Bilbo’s arms.

“Be careful of the recoil,” Thorin said patting his shoulder.

“I’m not going to shoot anyone!”

Thorin rubbed a hand over his face as he grabbed a colt mustang hiding it in one of his pockets. He then quickly loaded a glock 19 as he heard the footsteps approach the stairs. He turned to Bilbo and saw the young man holding the gun out as far away from him as possible. He then went over to him bringing him up to kiss him languidly. Bilbo didn’t reciprocate, but he didn’t pull away either.

“Bilbo. The ceiling is bullet proof. The door is not. If and when they see us they will not hesitate to kill. You’re not a murderer, but if you want to leave this house you’re going to have to hurt some very bad people. Do you understand?”

Thorin looked desperate. Bilbo took a deep breath before letting it go and pressing his forehead against the other’s. He didn’t want to hurt anyone, but he also didn’t want either of them to leave in a body bag. What could Thorin have done to make someone like Azog so angry? He’d ask them later, if there was a later. Maybe they could stall long enough to just run.

“I understand…but if there’s an opportunity for us to run we have to take it okay?”

“Of course.”

 

* * *

 

Frerin had called Thorin as soon as they were in the basement. No answer. Fuck! Of course Azog had gotten both places at once. He heard the men trying to bang down the basement door. Kili and Fili were in the safe room. Dis was looking through her assortment of rifles. Frerin kind of wanted to rush her since he didn’t know how long the door would hold, but he knew doing such would only make her take longer out of spite.

“Do you think Thorin’s all right?”

“He’s fine,” Dis said with a wave.

“How stupid is this guy? Attacking us in broad daylight. He doesn’t think that no one will hear the gun shots does he? I would think not….hmmm,” Frerin was scratching his neck as he’d gone back to thinking again.

He went to a wall and slid down to the floor trying to gather his thoughts. The banging didn’t help, but he took a deep breath and slipped into his mind. First there was the school shooting…no. Wait. Azog arrived in town. Dwalin saw him first and told Thorin who then told him. Azog was seen leaving an industry building and then confronting Thorin at some café. Azog was seen later by Dwalin, then the school shooting. Thorin met up with Azog at the park. Azog tried kidnapping Bilbo. Now here were his goons storming Dis’s house and possibly Thorin’s as well.

What was he missing? What was the connection?

“There you are Jenny,” he heard Dis say as she took hold of her Smith and Wesson M&P.

“Jenny? Jenny! That’s it!”

“What’s it?”

“The connection Dis! I’ve figured it out. You were right, Azog wouldn’t give a shit about us after we left the business. He doesn’t! At all! He’s after Bilbo!” Frerin immediately grew distressed at the knowledge.

“He’s after Bilbo…”

 

* * *

 

 

“You think I’ve heard enough gun shots to last me a lifetime, but IN THE HOSPITAL TOO!”

To say Ori was angry would be a vast understatement. He was absolutely seething. First his husband tells him he used to be a hitman, then he hears screaming down the corriders, and immediately afterwords the sounds of bullets flying through the air follows after it. Dwalin had blocked the doors with a few of the spare beds making a barricade and Ori sat against the wall, in the corner the IV drip standing high above him.

“Ori-“

“Don’t you Ori me! When were you going to tell me you used to kill people, would it have been on our 10th anniversary or maybe the next Christmas celebration?”

“Ori I’m sorry.”

Dwalin’s phone rang and he pulled it out to see a text from Nori. Shit, he forgot he was out there. The text read:

**_im okay, in the break room with nurses, we’ve barricaded the door, police are on their way_ **

“You’re brother texted me saying he’s all right.”

“Don’t try to change the subject!” Ori huffed.

“He also said the police are on their way.”

“Dwalin!”

Dwalin sighed and went over to Ori taking a seat in front of him. It was no easy task to get his bulky form in some comfortable sitting position on the floor, but he managed. He took in Ori’s state. The nursing gown covering up the bandages over his abdomen that he knew were there. He’d gotten him over into the corner as carefully as he could so as not to open the wounds again. There were dark circles under his eyes even though he’d slept for most of his stay there. His arms were crossed over his chest and his eyebrows furrowed as he pointedly stared at the ground.

“Don’t know how you manage it, always lookin so beautiful.”

Ori’s cheeks tinted pink, but he refused to be placated by that. Dwalin used to kill people for a job. Dwalin! He honestly couldn’t see it. Sure the man was huge, but he was about as threatening as a teddy bear. Honestly a lot of nights he was his teddy bear.

“You- you think you can just compliment me and expect me not to be mad anymore.”

“Well no. Yer anger is justified. I’d be angry too if I found out some big secret like that. Honestly I shoulda told you before I even proposed. I didn’t think…I’d gotten out before we got married. I didn’t want you dragged into it, but look at us now. Happened anyway didn’t it?”

Ori looked up and almost choked. Almost. Dwalin looked absolutely crest-fallen. Ori knows this was the last thing his husband wanted to happen, but it did. They had to deal with it even if the teacher certainly just wanted to be back in bed and rest for a few more weeks. Reaching out he gently placed his hand over his husbands, his fingers grazing lightly over the wide knuckles.

“So may we care for each other in sickness and in health-“ Ori started.

“-for better or for worse.” Dwalin finished smiling.

Ori returned the smile and squeezed his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, the last few chapters are likely going to be much longer than 1k words. Probably up to 3 or 4k each if I can manage it. Gotta cover all my plotholes and such. Also I just really enjoy Dwalin/Ori it's so cute!


	18. Bang Bang Bang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to be longer, but I feel as though I'm saving the big finale for the next chapter.

Frerin and Dis watched the door start to give way. Dis stood just a few feet in front of him. He muttered a quick sorry and hit the back of Dis’s head with the butt of his gun. When she fell to the ground dazed, he heaved her up and put her in the safe room with Fili and Kili.

“Uncle Frerin-“ started Fili.

“Do not touch this,” he said pointing to their mother’s gun.

He put it on a counter out of their reach and shut the door behind him. He started to hear banging against the door which he knew was too loud to be anyone but Dis’s. When she got out she was gonna kill him…if he wasn’t already dead that is. There was no way he’d have Fili and Kili repeat what happened to them. Better for her to stay in there.

The basement door started to give some more so he grabbed a couple of guns and made his way to the ceiling so he could hop into it between some of the panels. He sat there and waited looking through a slit between the panels. The banging on the safe room door had stopped a few moments before the bits of the basement door came sailing down the stairs. Thudding footsteps followed afterword. Frerin counted four.

The unfortunate part about this is he had to make it look like he’d never shot a gun before. No headshots…well maybe one. He saw one of the burly men go to the safe room door. He went down with a shot to the shoulder. Another shot to the chest had him on his back. Frerin slipped the panel back into place staying still as the other ones panicked.

He could hear their guns being cocked ready to take aim where ever. He crawled along the passageway until he ended up behind them. He fired off about three more shots before he came down from the ceiling. He stamped on one man’s hand and ran over to another pressing his shoe into his chest.

“How many and I won’t shoot,” Frerin said.

The man was gasping as he said, “6 more upstairs.”

“…great.”

Frerin shot both of his hands and reloaded his gun. He looked at the men on the ground slowly bleeding out, and grabbed their guns. He quickly took them apart and scattered them in the laundry. Looking to the safe room door he changed his mind and dragged each one of the men into the wine cabinet making sure to lock the door behind him. It’s probably best they not be left out in plain sight anyway.

 

* * *

 

Thorin had lead Bilbo through another passageway in the house as they slipped by the assailants. Honestly how many hidden passageways could one house have? On top of that WHY did Thorin have so many of them? He wanted to ask, but he wasn’t sure if they were heard as they made it into his study.

“Thorin why are there so many hidden rooms in your house?”

“My father was paranoid.”

“That doesn’t answer my question and you know it.”

“Can we talk about this later, maybe after we’ve gotten out?”

“Or we could talk about it now. It doesn’t make sense to have men coming into your house shooting up the place for a silly grudge. I feel like there’s more behind it.”

“Bilbo-“

“Don’t you Bilbo me. What’s going on?”

The study door slammed open and Thorin fired off two shots without blinking. The grunt fell to the ground and Bilbo’s eyes grew wide as the blood began fanning out onto the carpet. Thorin kicked the man’s lifeless body out of the way and shut the door clicking the lock shut. Bilbo’s breathing had started to pick up again. Thorin just killed that man without flinching.

“We need to move.”

Thorin had grabbed his arm, but Bilbo shook him off. His shock and terror quickly being replaced with anger. His shoved the gun into Thorin’s arms and headed back towards the passage they had come from. Thorin set the gun aside and grabbed Bilbo by his arms trying to keep a grip on him as he did his absolute best to pull away.

“Bilbo. You’re angry, but please listen.”

“Thorin you just killed a man!”

“He was going to kill us first.”

“You don’t know that!”

“Bilbo!”

Bilbo stilled as tears fell down his cheeks. He didn’t want this. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the blood start to flow in from the bottom of the door. Thorin pulled him close with one arm around his waist and a hand holding his head in place. He pressed his nose into the soft brown curls breathing deeply before tossing his head back to look at the ceiling.

“Bilbo. I’m sorry.”

Footsteps came thudding down the hall towards the study. Thorin pulled away first as he went over to the desk grabbing the shotgun. He held it against Bilbo’s chest until the young man took it in arms and re-armed himself.

“I’ll take care of it. Take the passageway we came from, make a left at the split. It should take you into the kitchen. From there dial 111, and leave,” Thorin said ushering Bilbo back into the wall.

“What about you?”

“If you think you’ve been caught when you get out shoot first and ask questions later.”

“Thorin, I’m not leaving you in here.”

“…I’ll catch up,” he said offering a smile.

Before Bilbo could protest further he was shoved into the passageway and the door sealed behind him. He tried feeling for the knob, but even the cracks of light that came between the panels wasn’t enough. He hadn’t heard any gunshots yet so he started to go where he was told. Gripping the gun tightly to his chest he eventually made it to the split taking a left. The gunshots started again one of them splitting the wood right past his ear. He walked as quickly as he could in the cramped space until he came to the end of the passage.

“Mr. Baggins? Where are you?”

 

* * *

 

Frerin kicked one of the men in the chest just as he was pulled back by his arms. Tossing his head back he smacked the other guy in the head wrangling himself free. He fired off another shot as he bolted across the backyard. Bullets zigged past him and he ducked under another fist sliding to the ground to knock the man off his feet. He was grappled into the dirt and he started to flail landing a few good kicks against the man’s ribs.

Getting up again he elbowed a goon in the face, pulled the gun from his arm and shot him twice in the chest. He was tackled to the ground again his gun going off and the bullets riding into the soil. He flipped them over and there was a larger struggle as Frerin wrestled his gun away since the last of his bullets had made their nest in the grass. He managed to wrangle the man’s hands to take aim behind him and shoot the approaching offender.

Frerin struck the man, under his legs, in the throat with the butt of his palm and snatched the gun from his grasp. He fired a shot into his face and was pulled off again with a gun being pressed against his temple.

“Where’s Baggins?” the grunt asked.

Frerin hocked a loogie at his face, and grinned as the man wiped it from his face. The gun was cocked and a bullet went straight into his foot. Frerin shouted and struggled against the arms that kept him in place.

“I won’t ask you again!”

The grunt fell to the ground and the one holding him quickly followed as the sound of tires screeching filled the air.

“GET IN THE CAR!” Dis’s voice called from the road.

Frerin didn’t need to be told twice as he limped as fast as his wounded foot would allow him and hopped the fence. The two remaining goons were on his heels as he hopped into the passenger seat. Dis put the shift back into drive and went well over the speed limit. Kili and Fili were cheering in the back seat.

“Thank y-“

“If you ever do that to me again you’ll be getting more than a bullet in your foot,” Dis said holding her gun against the ‘leg’ of his pants.

“Duly noted.”

He didn’t release a breath until she pulled the gun away setting it in one of the shelves under the radio.

“Uncle Frerin, are you gonna die?”

“No Fili.”

“Bang bang bang!” shouted Kili as he kicked his feet.

“How did you get out of the safe room?”

“One of the men you so skillfully left in the wine room got out,” Dis said curtly.

“And?” Frerin pushed.

“Momma make him go boom!” Kili finished grinning.

“Ah, right then. To the hospital?”

 

* * *

 

Azog had started tapping his hand against the wall looking for a hollow spot. Thorin had taken out several of his men before Yazneg managed to knock him out. Thorin didn’t stay unconscious for long, but he did remain very quiet about where Bilbo was.

“Where are you Mr. Baggins?” Azog said pressing his ear against the wall.

“We should just tear the wall down,” said Yazneg.

“No need for that. He’ll come out,” Azog had pulled away from the wall now.

“What makes you think that?”

Azog swiftly cocked his gun and shout Thorin in the shoulder making him cry out and clench at his arm. Bilbo’s blood ran cold at the sound. He was almost a foot into the kitchen before the shot rang out. Stepping back into the passageway he slid against the wall gun held to his chest.

“Mr. Baggins, you may want to come out now. We wouldn’t want Mr. Oakenshield to get another bullet now would we?”

“Oakenshield?” Bilbo mouthed as he looked to the wall in front of him.

“I may have hit an important artery. He could bleed out,” Azog said rubbing the barrel of his gun.

There was a creaking heard and Azog quickly looked up. Thorin’s eyes grew wide and he clenched his teeth as he said, “Don’t you dare!”

Yazneg landed a punch against his face knocking him to the floor. His breathing was labored and it didn’t help when Yazneg landed a kick into his ribs knocking his breath out of him. Azog glanced at him and rolled his eyes as Yazneg lifted Thorin by his hair pressing the gun into his throat. Azog waved the action off walking into the kitchen feeling along the wall.

Bilbo had already gone the other way. He found a door that led him to the sitting room and snuck past a man stationed at the other end of the hall. Gripping the gun tight he hide behind different pieces of furniture until he found himself behind the armchair in the living room. This was stupid. This was incredibly stupid and he’d probably get killed on site, but he couldn’t just leave Thorin here.

Peaking from the arm of the chair he saw a large man pull Thorin up by his hair. His face bloodied and his nose probably broken. He didn’t know what it was, but it was almost like a latch clicked into the place. He’d rolled aside and stood behind him cocking the gun and pressing the barrel into his back.

“Put him down.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Oakenshield? The plot thickens maybe idk  
> next chapter will be up tonight maybe


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for making you wait this long except for trying to cover holes in the plot I never noticed before. Also sorry for the confusion, but with the last chapter those events are supposed to be going on at the same time. So Frerin running the yard is going on at the same time Bilbo is running through the walls. yeah.

Yazneg felt the metal press against his back through the folds of his shirt and dropped Thorin. He felt the gun pull away as he stood and turned to see a short man wielding a shotgun. Azog had come back in before Yazneg could do anything.

“Mr. Baggins, there you are.”

“Leave. All of you,” Bilbo said fingers shaking above the trigger.

“Oh we’d love to, but we need you to come with us,” Azog had started to approach but stepped back when Bilbo turned the gun to him.

“Why?”

“I’m being paid by a very important client to bring you to him. I was told to bring you in alive, but I’m sure the state that you’re in wouldn’t matter upon arrival.”

When Yazneg made to reach for him Bilbo panicked pulling the trigger and nearly blasting the man’s leg off. The recoil had him stumbling back a few feet before he regained his balance and cocked the gun again aiming at Azog. Yazneg was on the ground screaming and grasping at the large hole in his calf.

“Nice shot.”

“Don’t make me do it to you,” Bilbo threatened.

Azog held his hands up where Bilbo could see as he slowly set his own gun on the coffee table. He backed away until he was at the seat of the couch and sat. He looked very comfortable there, and even went so far as to plant his foot on one of Thorin’s legs.

“What do you want in exchange for your cooperation Mr. Baggins?”

Bilbo glanced at the hall before focusing back on Azog and then looking to Thorin.

“Let Thorin leave here. Alive.”

“Mr. Oakenshield is a very dangerous man who I would not want on my heels.”

“You keep calling him that. Why?” Bilbo’s curiosity getting the better of him.

Azog’s smile widened on his face now turning to Thorin who was panting on the ground as he said, “You mean you don’t know?”

“Don’t know what?”

“Bilbo get out of here,” Thorin grunted his face pressed into the wooden panels.

“We can have story time later Mr. Baggins. I think our game of cat and mouse is over,” Azog finished.

Bilbo saw a shadow cast over him as he turned to see another man reach to grab him. He ducked under the large arms firing a shot into the man’s stomach sending him toppling over. When he turned around again Azog had gotten a hold of his gun turning it on Thorin. They cocked their guns at the same time and stood still waiting for the other to move.

“Come now Mr. Baggins, you wouldn’t want your partner’s brains all over the floor. Go outside, and my men will take good care of you.”

“What so you can shoot him when the door shuts behind me!”

“You’re no killer Mr.Baggins, but I am, and I am very good at my job. Put. The gun. Down,” Azog had the gun pressed firmly against Thorin’s skull.

“….you’re right. I’m not a killer,” Bilbo said as he lowered his gun.

Azog started to pull the gun away from Thorin and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Bilbo looked at Thorin making eye contact before glancing over to the rifle Yazneg had dropped. Thorin followed his eyes and flexed his fingers before mouthing the words “stall him.”

“You’re name is Azog isn’t it? Would you like to tell me why you’re after me again?”

“My client has some personal business to take care of. With Smaug. It was assumed things we get resolved much quicker with you involved,” he said as he put the phone to his ear.

“My uncle?”

“Yes. He’s grown soft over the years, but it doesn’t excuse what he’s done. The skeletons in his closet are breaking out so to speak.”

Thorin managed to slip his arm out slowly his fingers grazing against the handle of the gun. Bilbo made sure to keep his eyes on Azog as he continued to talk.

“What do you mean? I know that CEO’s aren’t really the best bunch, but what could he possibly have done to have people like you be brought into it?”

“One of the many things Smaug did to get where he is was to buy out small businesses by any means necessary. Even if the means were…less than favourable…hello? Yes come in and grab him would you,” he said now occupied with the call.

“You can’t possible have that many workers in one location,” Bilbo said the gun still hanging loose from his hands.

“I have many connections Mr. Baggins. Now our ride should be here in a couple minutes. After you’ve been removed we’ll get this mess cleaned up and I’ll take care of Mr. Oakenshield.”

“I’m not going with you,” he said with finality.

“You don’t-“

A gun clicked and Azog looked down to see Thorin aiming one right at his head.

“I told you you talk too much,” he said before pulling the trigger.

Bilbo dropped the gun and ran to the phone. Thorin managed to talk him out of calling the police and into calling Balin. Why Balin? He had no idea, but Balin did say that he would take care of things when he got over there. Bilbo wanted to know what that meant, but Balin had hung up with a hasty good bye.

“We are calling the police.”

“Bilbo, Balin said he would take care of it.”

“Thorin I’ve shot two men and you’ve shot, killed several of them!”

“Wouldn’t that be reasons not to go to the police?”

“We could plead self-defense.”

“My shots were too accurate. They wouldn’t believe it for a second. An investigation would be had, a scandal would spread, it’s just too much to deal with right now,” Thorin explained.

“Too much to- Too _much_ to deal with!? _I’ll tell you what’s too much to deal with Thorin Durin_! My boyfriend having some secret past ‘Mr. Oakenshield?!’ really, men trying to kidnap me, men breaking into my house and my boyfriend’s house which has a million secret passageways and tons of guns, not to mention I had to shoot two people, and I watched said boyfriend kill two different people, and now Balin is going to ‘take care of it’ and I can’t even call the bloody fucking police because it’s ‘too much to deal with’!”

Bilbo had thrown the phone across the room and was standing there practically boiling. His shoulders were hunched, the muscles of his neck were taught, his eyebrows were furrowed and his cheeks were dark red. The nails of his fingers were pressing into his palms so tightly they probably left marks and he was shaking visibly.

Thorin started to cough holding a hand over his mouth as his body shook with the violence of it. Bilbo immediately deflated and was at his side on the carpet placing a hand onto his shoulder. He shouldn’t be mad at Thorin. This whole thing probably would’ve ended very differently had his boyfriend been someone else. When Thorin had stopped coughing he looked at Bilbo and gave him a weak smile.

“I’m sorry Bilbo. You shouldn’t have had to go through this,” he said leaning his head back against the wall.

“We should get you to a hospital,” Bilbo said, his voice quiet.

“Probably, but we should wait until Balin gets here. God, Frerin is going to have a field day with this,” he chuckled, but quickly winced at the pinching in his ribs.

“…this probably isn’t the time to ask, but what was Azog talking about when he said I didn’t know? Thorin, what did you do?”

“Can I plead the fifth?”

“Absolutely not,” Bilbo said letting a small laugh out.

Thorin took a shaky breath before he said, “My grandfather Thror started a business when he dropped out of college. It was for making certain people disappear for the right price. He passed the business down to his children, and there are certain rules that must be followed when doing that kind of work. My father Thrain often bended these rules to suit his needs. In fact he did it so often it became a new way of running things. He didn’t think he’d have to reap the consequences of his actions, even after he had married and started a family of his own.”

Thorin paused and closed his eyes. Bilbo getting tired of resting on his knees settled back against the wall pressing his shoulder against the older man for support. Thorin opened his eyes to glance at him and swallowed as he continued.

“When I was 9 I was leaving the grocery store with my mother. Frerin had stayed home that day with my father because he had gotten in trouble earlier and Dis was sick so she couldn’t leave the house. We did everything my mother taught us. Stay on the sidewalk. Watch out for cars when crossing the street. Look both ways and make sure the the man is waving before using the crosswalk…I didn’t hear the shot. My mom had let go of my hand and she was on the ground. The eggs and milk she was carrying had broken on the sidewalk. There was so much blood.”

“Thorin-“

Thorin held up a hand to stop him.

“The funeral was a month later. We dropped off the radar for a couple years, but even with his wife gone my father couldn’t resist the pull of money. Soon we were back in it. No one would think to use children as a means to get things done. Didn’t get a real assignment from my father until I was 18, but by then I had already ruffled the feathers of too many people. You never know how long someone can hold a grudge until you’re on the receiving end of it.”

They sat there quietly. Bilbo not sure what to say and Thorin already tired of talking. Balin came sometime later with a few men and women. Leaving his small crew there he took Bilbo and Thorin to the hospital. The car ride was quiet except for Balin’s humming. Bilbo thought the tune sounded familiar, but he didn’t feel like asking what it was.

When they arrived at the hospital there were more than a few police cars settled up front. The police were talking with different nurses and doctors as they went inside. The first floor was a sight, but one of the nurses saw Thorin and started rushing them to a different floor. After getting off the elevator two small familiar voices had carried down the hall. Thorin’s blood ran cold and Bilbo was already out of sight by the time any ideas registered in his brain.

Getting around the corner Bilbo breathed a sigh of relief to see Fili and Kili bouncing, unharmed, in their mother’s lap. Dis looked up at him and smiled looking very relieved.

“Is Thorin all right?” she asked.

“Yes, a little banged up, but he should be fine,” he said taking a seat next to her.

“Same for Frerin…I’m happy you’re okay.”

“Uncle Bilbo! Momma beat up all the bad guys with Uncle Frerin!” Fili said climbing into his lap.

“Yeah yeah! And- and bang and boom and momma beat ‘em up!” Kili chimed.

“Did Uncle Thorin beat up bad guys too?” Fili asked.

“with twinkies!” Kili giggled.

Fili joined in both of them laughing very loudly.

At least they weren’t traumatized.

 

* * *

 

Thorin heard the laughter ring out as he was being shoved by Balin and the nurse into a sitting room. The tension in his shoulders slinking out as he figured his nephews must be okay. Balin asked the nurse what happened on the first floor, but her knowledge was limited.

“Several armed men stormed the hospital, but they didn’t shoot that many people. The most they got were some of the policemen on the clock who were just trying to do their job. I’m not sure who else got hurt. I was on the 5th floor when it happened,” she explained.

He thanked her kindly and she said she would do her best to get Thorin treatment as soon as possible. The men watched her leave and Balin turned a sharp eye onto Thorin.

“Want to tell me what happened?”

“What’s there to tell? Azog and his men barged into my house guns a blazing and I took care of it.”

“That part is obvious. What was he doing there in the first place is what I’m askin,” Balin said growing a little impatient.

“Trying to settle some old grudge with Smaug using Bilbo. That was the most I got out of it seeing as how I may be concussed at the moment.”

“Dis called before you did ya know. Haven’t had to send out two dispatch teams in a while. Maybe a certain family should try being more careful,” he huffed.

“Frerin?”

“About as bad as you are from what I’ve been told.”

“Good…” Thorin had begun nodding off and was shoved hard in the shoulder by Balin.

“Don’t fall asleep on me. You’ve got a concussion so no rest until the doctors say so.”

“What do you think Azog was planning attacking so many places in broad daylight?” Thorin asked trying to shake the fuzziness from his head.

“Distraction to keep police from swarming your house is my only guess. His bunch never did bother with silencers on their pistols did they?”

“They did the sloppiest jobs. I’m surprised the whole business hadn’t brought itself to the ground sooner.”

“Balin?!”

“Nori! Fancy seeing you down here. Shouldn’t you be upstairs with your brother?”

Nori walked over to them looking ruffled, but none the worse for wear.

“I was. Ori woke up a couple hours ago, and then he said he needed to talk to Dwalin so I came down here to get a coffee. Then I hear gunshots downstairs and end up locked in a room with some very attractive medical staff.”

“Nori-“ Balin started.

“Don’t worry. The temptation was strong, but I persevered. Couldn’t stand the look on imaginary Bofur’s face when I thought of flirting with the little red-head. I’m smitten,” he said sighing and placing a hand over his heart.

“How’s Dwalin and Ori?” Thorin asked.

“Haven’t had the chance to check on them yet, but I’m sure they’re fine. That’s actually where I was headed to, but I can’t find the elevator.”

“Down the hall to the right,” offered a nurse as he dashed by with a clipboard.

“Thanks!” Nori called watching the man duck into a room.

“Well gentlemen, I’ll be off then,” Nori said with a bow.

Balin watched him walk off and before he was out of sight said, “Make sure to call your brother to let him know you’re all right!”

Nori did a little wave and rounded the corner. Balin shook his head knowing the strange haired man was heading for the stairs and not the elevator, but he let it pass. Soon a tall aging man approached them and talked to Thorin fondly.

“Ah Mr. Durin. You’ve made quit a regular of yourself here haven’t you?”

“Dr. Gandalf?” Thorin asked.

“Yes. Come now, let’s get you to a room so we can check your injuries.”

Balin helped him up and they steadily made their way into an examination room.

 

* * *

 

“Frerin told me that he was after you,” Dis said cradling a sleeping Kili against her chest.

“Yes. Azog said something about a client hiring him and a grudge with my Uncle Smaug.”

“A client hired Azog?”

“That’s what he told me. He could’ve been lying, I don’t know,” Bilbo was stroking a sleeping Fili’s hair.

They had a long day.

“Let’s hope that’s not the case. Frerin seemed to have had the whole situation figured out before he knocked me and out tossed me into the safe room,” Dis said glaring at the wall.

“He probably wanted you to be safe.”

“I can handle myself.”

“I think he knows that, but Dis you’re a mother. Maybe he thought the worst, and didn’t want anything to happen,” Bilbo said.

“I’m guessing Thorin told you about our mom then?”

“I-“

“No it’s fine. From that standpoint I can see where he’s coming from, but I’m still angry about it. My husband Viri should be coming home in a month. Always good for him to have a wife to come back home to.”

“Where has he been?”

“He’s in the navy, so he’s away from home for several months before he comes back for a few more months. He should be free to leave after another 3 to 5 years there. Should be, there’s really no sure fire conclusion, but he’s tired of not seeing his boys grow up.”

“I’m guessing Fili takes more after him in looks. It explains the hair,” Bilbo said smiling.

“Yes, but Kili has his cute big nose,” she said and pressed a kiss against said nose. Kili’s face scrunched up in protest and he nuzzled further against his mom’s chest.

“I guess you won’t need me to babysit when he comes back then?”

“Ha! Nice try Bilbo, I’m not letting you go so fast. You’re the best baby sitter I’ve ever had. Fili and Kili said so themselves.”

“I’m the only one who’ll stay.”

“And I appreciate it more than you know,” she said patting his knee.

 

* * *

 

Bilbo had managed to break away from the sleeping fest saying he needed to check up on Thorin. That is if he could find him in all this chaos. Luckily he found Balin just as he was heading to the elevator. After a quick interrogation he found Dr. Gandalf who led him to where Thorin was being kept.

“Do us a favor and keep him awake until 1 a.m. After that he can rest,” Gandalf said nudging him inside.

“Of course sir.”

Thorin lit up seeing Bilbo and watched the young man get a seat next to the bed.

“How’re Dis and the boys?”

“Perfectly fine. Apparently Dis and Frerin ‘beat all the bad guys up’ according to Fili.”

“Good.”

“How bad are your injuries?”

“A few bruised ribs, broken nose, split lip, should be out of here in a week. However a week of bed rest is to follow afterwards. Not sure how I’ll survive that, unless, there’s someone to keep me company,” Thorin said raising an eyebrow.

“I cannot miss a full week of classes Thorin. Honestly think I could use some normal after the past few days I’ve had.”

“Understandable. You will be there when you’re not in class won’t you?”

“Of course.”

“That’s more than good enough for me.”

Bilbo’s shoulders started shaking again and his eyes started to shine.

“I-I’m sorry I just,” he sniffed wrapping his arms around himself.

“Bilbo.”

Large fat tears poured down his cheeks as he hunched over. Thorin scooted over to the edge of the bed pulling the young man into his arms. Bilbo began sobbing pitifully into his shirt the sounds racking his torso.

He’d had a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter should be up tomorrow maybe!


	20. Cuddles and Tea

3 Weeks Later

Bilbo didn’t like to think about it much. Honestly the whole situation seemed like a dream. Yet here he was getting distracted even though Bofur was giving him some very good tips about how to preserve flowers using the spare notebook he had.

“Bilbo!”

“Huh what?”

Bofur gave him a bored look as he said, “I was asking if ya had any advice on how to talk to Nori about my um problem?”

“Your pro- oh Oh! Hmm…well honestly I would just tell him to give you some space until you’re ready. If he cares and he respects your privacy he’ll wait until you tell him why instead of pushing for an answer.”

Bofur nodded taking a sip of his coffee before asking, “I hear a little here and there, but how’s Thorin and the family?”

“Well, Thorin and Frerin are healing up mostly. Sometimes Thorin still winces when I hug him a bit too tight, but should be okay in another week. Dis and I are going to visit Ori and have some tea in a couple days.”

“Who’s gonna watch the brats?”

“Frerin offered.”

“Hm, well that’s good. I’d join you lot, but ya know, big date tomorrow and all that.”

Bofur looked up from his coffee as he heard a bell chime.

“Customer. Be right back,” he said getting up.

Bilbo watched him go to the front and heard him greet whoever decided to drop by. That comic and music sale Bofur advertised had brought in a lot more customers than normal, and the back was much more spacey. He sat in the lounge chair, cradling the mug in his hands and took in his surroundings. Book cases sat against most of the walls, some holding boxes others nearly sagging with the weight of books and records.

Bofur lived just upstairs where the furnishings were much homier in a sense. He’d been up there very often during slow days. Until the sale was over though they couldn’t do much for relaxing upstairs and watching bad movies like they usually did. Bilbo’s thoughts drifted off again thinking of what Frerin had told him in the hospital.

 

* * *

 

_“What do you mean a client hired him!?” Frerin said nearly jumping from the hospital bed._

_“That’s what he said when he cornered me. Frerin what does this mean?” Bilbo answered._

_“Well, first I thought that Azog was getting revenge for his ex-wife, Jen’argia a.k.a ‘Jenny’ since her business was one of the ones Smaug had gotten a hold of using his..er older methods. News of this client hiring him though…That’s concerning. However it does make sense that Smaug would have more enemies after the things he pulled in his past. The question is why wait so long to strike? Doesn’t make a lick of sense,” Frerin had his hand over his mouth, brows furrowed, trying to connect the dots._

_“What should I do then?”_

_Frerin’s head snapped up as he looked at Bilbo again before smiling, “Well, nothing. We don’t know who the client is. Thanks to Thorin we probably never will. Until the culprit hires someone else we just have to go on like we have been.”_

_“That sounds-“_

_“Ridiculous? Mad? Downright stupid? Yes! It’s all of those things, but that’s what we’ve always done. Everything turns out right in the end,” he finished with wink._

_“Bilbo?”_

_Said person turned around and saw Thorin leaning against the wall with his IV drip beside him._

_“Thorin! You’re supposed to be in bed!”_

_“You’re supposed to be getting coffee,” he quipped._

_Bilbo’s eyes narrowed as he said, “I was about to get coffee. I just wanted to ask Frerin about something.”_

_“Oh?”_

_“Yes oh. Is there a problem with that?”_

_“No, I was just growing concerned.”_

_“Thorin, believe it or not, I’m an adult. I can take care of myself just fine.”_

_Thorin snorted, muttering something, and looked away as Bilbo stood from his chair._

_“What was that?”_

_“What was what?” the older man asked._

_“That! What you just did.”_

_“Um Bilbo,” Frerin started._

_Bilbo held a hand up to him as he marched over to Thorin. Pressing his finger into his chest he started, “Listen here Thorin Durin. I will not be treated like a child. I am not the one injured. I’m not the one being monitored by the doctors. I am not going to be put in the victim category like I cannot manage myself. I. Am. Not. Your. Martyr. I-“_

_“You are a college student. You have unknown forces who want you tortured or worse. You barely know how to handle a gun, and can’t bring yourself to shoot someone even if they have a gun pointed to your first. You are-“_

_“Are you kidding me! You are just! You- you are ugh!” Bilbo shoved by him and made his way out of the hall to the stair case._

 

* * *

 

Bilbo would like to think they made up, but things have been tense whenever he stopped by Thorin’s place. They’d always start arguing and he wasn’t sure if it was the painkillers or something else. Bilbo hoped it was just a phase in their relationship. Maybe the trauma was worse than he thought.

As he sat there pondering Bofur had returned and was sitting in the chair opposite trying to garner his attention.

“Bilbo!”

“Hm? What?”

“Maybe you should head home,” he offered.

“No, Bofur, I’m fine really.”

“Are you sure?”

Bilbo sighed and said, “I’m sure, it’s just, Thorin and I have been arguing so much lately. I don’t know what’s wrong. Everything sets us off. I think I yelled at him for eating too loud this morning. Who does that!? No one!”

“Maybe the puppy love stage just wore off quicker for you two.”

“Too quickly. We’ve transitioned from crushing teens to an old couple! I don’t like it,” he muttered into his mug.

“That’s what you get for dating someone so old.”

“Thorin isn’t even that old. I just want us to be okay.”

He had set his mug aside losing patience for his drink. Bofur followed suit and leaned over placing a hand on his knee. Bilbo smiled at the gesture and retrieved his mug again. Bofur removed his hand and they managed to slip back into a nice conversation. If he was going to go back and talk to Thorin this evening, he’d rather not waste tea beforehand.

 

* * *

 

Bilbo went to Thorin’s place late that evening. Frerin answered the door and gave him a quick run-down of what Thorin had been up to that day. First he sulked, then he brooded, then he complained about his medication, slept, and woke up to sulk some more.

“You made sure he ate right?” he asked hanging his jacket on the coat rack.

“He had lunch, but skipped dinner saying his stomach couldn’t handle it.”

“Of course,” Bilbo said rolling his eyes.

“Good luck,” Frerin said before going into the living room.

Bilbo took off his shoes and walked as quietly as he could to Thorin’s door. Putting his ear against the wood he listened to the muffled words from the other side of the door. He couldn’t make out all the bits, but he did manage to hear things such as “sorry” “idiot” and the occasional “no don’t say that”. Growing curious he opened the door and quietly stepped inside.

Thorin was laying on the bed with his face in the pillows and groaned loudly. Normally Bilbo would find that to be very appealing, but for some reason he couldn’t find it in him to make a flirty comment.

“Thorin?”

The older man pulled his head from the pile and pushed himself up so he could turn around.

“Bilbo…”

He opened his mouth to say something but the first thing that managed to come out was, “You didn’t eat dinner.” Okay so apparently Bilbo wanted to start an argument.

“Yes, I was aware of that,” he answered glaring.

“You know you need to eat to get better.”

“I think I’m healing fine.”

“Well good.”

Even though the room was silent the atmosphere was tense. Bilbo stood at the door way making sure to look everywhere but at Thorin. Maybe he should leave? Try again tomorrow. He honestly didn’t have it in him for another argument, but he also wanted to make up. Had they even kissed recently? That was definitely a thought for concern.

“Bilbo-”

“I’m sorry for this morning. I mean I’m stressed with catching up for my classes, and it was a dumb thing to yell at you for. Honestly what kind of complaint is ‘you’re chewing too loud’. Stupid that’s what it is. I’m also sorry for complaining about the lack of vegetables you eat, and saying that your hair was stupid. It’s not stupid. I love you hair, it’s really soft actually. I don’t remember much of the other arguments we’ve had, but I know they were over silly things and I’m worried that we’re not okay, and I want us to be okay and-“

“Bilbo.”

“Everything’s been a mess since the fight in the hospital. I’ve barely managed to get my work done because I’ve been worrying if you’re healing okay. My fault really. Perhaps I shouldn’t have had all that tea-“

“Bilbo.”

“It’s just I’m scared that what happened put a wedge between us and this is the result and I don’t want it to be that Thorin. I would much rather things go back to what we had because it was nice and you’re wonderful you really are I-“

“Bilbo!”

When had Thorin been standing in front of him? Actually when had he been moved to sit on the bed. He should really start paying attention more. Thorin arranged them so that the young man was sitting and he was standing in front of him with his hands on his shoulders. Thorin pressed their foreheads together and spoke softly.

“You shouldn’t be apologizing. I’m sorry that I’ve been so irritating as of late. You’re an adult and you have a lot on your mind. I have been healing these past few weeks, but it’s no excuse to be a-”

“-huge asshole?”

“For lack of a better term, yes,” Thorin said smiling.

Bilbo leaned up giving him a soft kiss on his lips. Thorin’s smile grew wider as he tilted his head so their lips slotted together. His hands moved from his shoulders to run through soft brown curls of hair as he felt a tongue flick out against the seam of his chapped lips. Bilbo pulled away first just in time to press another soft kiss against the tip of his nose.

“Apology accepted,” he said leaning into Thorin’s touch.

The older man hummed in reply and joined him on the bed. Bilbo considered cuddling under the blankets to be much more enjoyable than another fight. It would be perfectly fine for him to ‘forget’ about his Zoology class the next morning. After all Thorin was so warm, and the pillows were so soft, he was sure he could afford to miss one day of note-taking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THAT'S THE END GUYS.
> 
> First I would like to thank all of you for standing by me through this story. Pretty sure it's the longest thing I've ever written. Sorry about the 4 day delay on this chapter, but I was reading back and figured I'd edit other chapters. I stopped editing at ch.14 and I'm going to edit the rest later this week so the official word count will be up when I post Chapter 21 which will have pictures of the floor plans of their houses and recipes of foods that were mentioned in the story.
> 
> I was playing around with the idea of making this into a series. I already have drafts of stories like the "monster cock boyfriend club" where Dis, Ori, and Bilbo talk about their viking partners and oneshots with Fili and Kili as well as having a whole knew story arc where we delve deeper into Thorin's past. That last one would probably be anywhere from 15-30 chapters I believe.
> 
> Yeah....so tell me what you think.  
> Ariel out!

**Author's Note:**

> Be warned this is my first Bagginshield fic.  
> Un betad and all that.


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